Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Fun in the Sun

I hope everyone had a great memorial day weekend, and I truly hope that you all were able to take a small moment out of your fun filled weekends to say a prayer for those brave men and women who gave the ultimate sacrifice for our freedoms as well as a prayer for those families who will forever have an empty chair at the dinner table, and a empty place in their hearts. Not many people know, but memorial day is a day for those who died for our freedom. Veteran's day is a day for those who continue to fight for our freedom, our military service members past and present. It's somewhat sad that there are only two days a year for our military members, I know the vast majority it doesn't affect as much but in the military community I know we are thankful for them every, single day.

Erik's parents came down this weekend, arrived Friday night. It was so nice to have them here! We really had a great time, I know I did. We spent Saturday at the beach and brought puppy dog along, she didn't like the ocean one bit. I think it's because she is still pretty small, and the ocean is pretty big, but either way she didn't like the ocean. But she did love sunbathing with us and being spoiled. Sunday we (much to my dislike) dropped Jade off at Erik's friends apartment and he watched her while we went to Saint Augustine, which really was a lot of fun. A lot of walking is always involved with visiting that area, but we were able to see a mass in the Cathedral, which was absolutely beautiful. We spent the majority of the day there and came home. We ended up ordering the UFC fight, turns out Erik's mom actually enjoys watching it. I thought that was pretty kool. I only kind of like it, I won't sit down and watch it without Erik but if he wants to watch it I'll watch it as well. Monday we rented a boat on base and brought puppy dog out on the boat, she slept the entire time. It was a lot of fun, I love being out on the water.

Overall, it was a really great weekend. A cashier at the historic Fort in Saint Augustine's gift shop, thanked Erik for his service, his mom for giving the country her son, and me for tolerating it all. I thought was really nice of her. I laughed at the last part. It was so nice to have family in town and have some visitors in the house, it gets kind of quiet and boring when it's just Erik and I. When family is in town, we have reasons to go exploring and what not. Erik's sister and her fiancee will be in town next week, which will be nice. Gives me a week to get the house prettified again. lol. Erik's mom said the house was beautiful and that I had done a great job decorating and that it was immaculate. :) Made me so happy to hear it! That was the goal after all, but it was really, really nice to hear from someone else.

It's back to work this Tuesday, it'd be really nice if the weekend was just another day longer or if there were a recovery day built in. But oh well. Hopefully the week goes well, and I can use the weekend and Monday to get the house pretty before Erik's sister gets in. I'm sure I will, and maybe if I get lucky I can sneak in some relaxation as well, because it's really needed. But here's to a good Tuesday.

Friday, May 27, 2011


I may not always realize how lucky I am to have the things that I have, the people who I have in my life, nor the great things that have made it my way. I may get wrapped up in the daily stresses and I am guilty of getting caught up in the things that I don't have. But I really truly am grateful for what I do have, and the possibilities and the opportunities that have come my way, and will one day come my way.

I don't normally write about other people, or really compare my self to their situation, because everyone is different no matter how similar the situation is. After hearing about her fiance breaking things off, due to him not being sure and not being as happy as he thinks he should be, I realized something. I know with all my heart when that day comes, and Erik and I join our lives further together than they already are, that he will be more than sure of his actions. He won't have a doubt in his mind, nor will I.

I guess what I am getting at, is not everyone takes their time before taking the next step in their relationship. Not everyone is one hundred percent sure, without a doubt in their mind, when they say 'I do' at the end of the aisle. But I know our relationship is different, and we will be there without a doubt, whenever the right time is.

I'm also so grateful for my friends and family those who care about me and worry about me, and want nothing but my happiness. Those who although I'm seven hundred miles away still call or text to say hello, and see how life is. I miss them more than ever, especially when I feel so alone here.

I'm grateful to have an amazing home, an amazing furbaby family, and to be living in a country where I have the freedom to express how I feel. I have so much to be grateful for, and I always need to keep that in mind. To remember for everything that I don't have, there are so many more things that I do have. Things always happen for a reason, we might not understand why but there is always a rhyme or reason for it.

Anyways, this turned into a bit of a ramble. I hope everyone has a great day!

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

New day

Well, I wanted to apologize about my breakdown yesterday, it was a moment of weakness which I don't have as often as some people think. This is the place that I come to vent, to let it all out and get it off my chest so I'm not bottling it up. But it's a new day, and a fresh start.
Erik came home in a pretty good mood despite that news that yesterday morning brought along with it. I made Sloppy Joes, which Erik has been wanting for a while now. I'm not big on them, but he is. I lightly made a joke about yesterday's situation that had me all upset, and he said who said it makes a difference. So I still have that little glimmer of hope.
Today for the most part is going to be spent cleaning and organizing again. I need to make a short grocery list for some things we need, and I need to go through and match up some coupons with sales. I picked up about 5 newspapers on Sunday and have a TON of coupons. Just need to figure out which ones are things we actually need, and things we could use if we get them for free or close to it. Erik's pretty supportive of my couponing, it is pretty time consuming, which I didn't think it would be. But it's neat, and I love saving us money.
I'm planning my trip home to Virginia Beach in July. Which is a little stressful to be quite honest. I'm trying to stay up there Monday - Thursday and I'd be leaving to drive my Jeep back on Friday. A good friend is planning on riding back with me which will totally make for a fun and awesome trip. Money is really a big factor in it all, and no one can say that it isn't. On top of that, we are going to Kentucky for the first weekend in July for Erik's family reunion thing, and will be driving back on our anniversary. So I'm just trying to find out when flights are cheaper, and whats going to make the most sense. I'm sure I'll figure it out, just takes planning.

But back to work, and back to cleaning. Fun times there, but it's got to be done. I really want this house to be immaculate when his parents arrive on Friday. Have a great day.

Monday, May 23, 2011

Hot Mess

Well today went up in smoke early, and I'm honestly a hot mess. I spent the better part of my morning crying and then the rest of the morning coaxing a puppy out from under the bed which was an epic failure. Advancements came out this morning, and well Erik didn't make it. Actually only missed it by 3 points. I feel horrible for him, he works so hard and deserved it so badly. I'm pretty selfish because I wasn't crying for him, but rather myself. Knowing tonight would be a crappy night because I'm sure he is going to come home in a horrible attitude. But the real reason behind the tears is that I now realize it's going to be at least a year until things get more serious between us. Erik is smart, really smart, and he is a man. He wants to make rank before taking the next step, engagement. It makes perfect sense, truly it does and I really do understand it. So yeah, I got really excited seeing that the quota percentages were up and that he had a really good chance, a great chance. And maybe my mind got a little away from me, but for a few days, there was hope. Hope that maybe things would go well for us for once, and that a certain chain of events would happen. Well this morning my glimmer of hope was crushed, and it hurt. I can't even explain how much it kills me now to read things girls write in these stupid 'support' groups saying, "I'm engaged" or "Married my sailor" after they'd only been together a few months. Yes, I am being bluntly honest and maybe a little brutal. It kills me, it's like a jab in my heart every time.
It's not that our relationship is going to change once and if we were to get married, or that I would love him any differently. It's more or less that I feel stuck in place. We've been together for three years in a month and some change. We've done two deployments, we've done a PCS move. Heck even purchased a house. I just feel like the fact that we are living as if we are married, well then we should be. I've gotten so exhausted of correcting people when they refer to Erik as my husband that I just don't even bother anymore. It's not that I'm pretending, or that I like how it sounds, it's because I am so mentally tired of pointing out I don't have a ring and we aren't married. It hurts every time. I know Erik loves me, I don't question that for a minute. Never have. Sometimes I wonder if there is just something wrong with me, or why he doesn't want to marry me. No one understands, at least none of my friends or anyone I know understand. Who can when the majority of people in this life have only dated their significant other either a year or less before taking the next step. I have been the most devoted person I can be, and have moved away from my family, and I'm still a girlfriend. It isn't about titles as most women care about, nor the benefits - who gives a darn - they are benefits not reasons, it isn't about finances or any other reason you can think of. It's more or less the security, that no matter what happens or no matter what I do that someone is going to love me. That someone, being Erik, will always be here for me, that I'll never need to worry about being alone. That's what it means to me.

So yeah, I didn't have a great morning, it really hurts having that glimmer of hope killed, bright and early. The weekend was pretty nice. I got a new vacuum finally, and I love it. I was able to steam clean the office and the hallway and I was able to get the guest bedroom finished up. I do have some cleaning and organizing to do and I want to steam clean the living room either Thursday or Friday before Erik's parents get into town. Our house is really starting to feel more like a home now that pictures are being hung up. Everything is coming together really nicely. I'm definitely a happy camper and feel proud of the decorating that's been done so far.

I need to get back to work, but I really needed to get the first half of the post off my chest before Erik gets home this afternoon. I'm making some sloppy joe's for dinner, he's been begging for them for a while now. And I'm probably going to spend the rest of the day working, cleaning and organizing. I hope the rest of the week gets better, for myself and I hope everyone else has a great week coming up.

Friday, May 20, 2011

It's amazing what a little Tequila can do!

Today is going to be a great day, I can just feel it. I was able to get out last night and meet up with some Navy wives to get drinks. It was really nice to get out and meet ladies, and of course have a few drinks in the process. Things like getting away from the house and having girl talk, really improve my mood. So I'm in a fantastic mood, finally and I'm really feeling like maybe things really will be okay.

In other news the Petty Officer Promotion quota's came out last night. Super duper exciting. I really, really hope that the fifth time is the charm for Erik. He deserves to pick up that extra chevron so badly. I know that for the most part, most of the Sailors up for promotion deserve it. I also know that yes, I'm pretty biased. But in all reality Erik works harder than anyone I know. He got screwed at his last duty station, and is still working harder than anyone I know. I even have a letter from his old CO proving it! But still.. because of lack of face time with his actual command since he was deployed for 18 months out of 2 years he didn't make it. It's a huge ordeal to explain it, so I am just going to do us all a favor and leave it at that. He deserves this.

I also made this amazing Chicken Cordon Blue last night, holy moly I think it was one of the best dishes I've made in a long time. It came out just right, so I'm pretty proud of myself. It was refreshing to try something new and do it in our kitchen. I absolutely love our kitchen and find myself working more at my island than in my office.

I hope everyone has a great weekend! I can't believe it's finally Friday already, I don't plan on doing much this weekend outside of cleaning and decorating. Erik's parents will be in town next weekend and I want the house as clean as possible. I do need to go and get some more picture frames, as well as a new vacuum cleaner. Once I vacuum I plan on steam cleaning the carpet in the house, really only the living room and the hallway. The rest of the rooms are clean. Hopefully the steam mop I ordered off of Amazon will be here this week so I can steam mop the floor Friday morning before they arrive, should be interesting with the puppy. It should prove to be a busy weekend since we are cleaning the apartment and turning in the keys as well. Maybe, just maybe I'll find the time to get my eyebrows waxed and a pedicure, I do also need to find a few summer clothes. So.. it should be a packed weekend, I just hope I find time to enjoy it.

Thursday, May 19, 2011

Come find me..

Ever have something bug you, like deep down bugging you. It doesn't really go away, just sits there and gradually gets bigger and bigger. I try my best to forgive and forget, I truly do, unless it's something big, I won't forget but I'll do my best to forgive. It isn't like me to hold a grudge and there are only a few people that I have any type of grudge and resentment towards.

Rewind back to when I was getting ready to move, I had a good friend tell me that moving will really help make your relationship stronger, make you rely on each other more and really realize how strong you are. But on the flip side, you'll find yourself picking little fights and holding a resentment/grudge towards the other person. I believed the first half, not so much the second half of it.

Well... I should of. Because, I am. I don't mean to, and I certainly don't sit there thinking about what I can be upset about next or what I can get mad about this time. I don't plan out an 'attack'. It just... well it just happens. It can be anything, messing with food I'm cooking, being on the computer, not picking up those darn socks, not paying attention to the puppy. Anything. Most the time the little fights last just a few minutes, and whats sad is I even acknowledge that we are fighting over stupid things. I think part of me just resents everything that goes wrong here, and I in turn blame it on him, because I know I wouldn't be here if it weren't for him. It's not that I don't like it here, I do. I love our home more than anything, and I am really liking the area much more than I thought I would originally. I'm not sure why I am acting this way, I really don't want to. I want to be happy, I want to be all lovey dovey, I want to be just fearless and confident, and just.. just how I used to be. I don't like this.

Not to mention, I've pretty much had to give up on the idea of getting a horse. It's just not going to be affordable. Right now it is, but come November it won't be. I finally got a price from Tricare about their Young Enrollment program. It's basically a program for dependents, or prior dependents, who are either still attending college after the age of 23 or are not offered health care coverage with their jobs. So, since it was Tricare I thought it'd be cheap, nothing more than a hundred dollars a month. Boy was I wrong. They want me to pay $187 a month, with three months up front. Insane! So that's gotten me upset pretty bad. Plus I will have to start paying my Jeep payment soon. When I use the GI Bill, my father has it set up that all my BAH will go towards his account, (in actuality - it's my money) so they pay my Jeep payment with it, and the remainder I guess they have set up to go aside and use the remaining amount to pay the rest of my payments when I'm not in school - once that runs out I start paying it again - I originally was until I started using the GI Bill. Long story short - it just isn't going to be financially smart to get a horse. Which, yeah, I'm really upset about it to be quite honest. I'm upset about a lot of things - and how much stress I have regarding my finances and health. It's a lot to take on, especially when it's something you've never had to worry about. My father has been in the military my entire life - so I know literally nothing about health insurance. I don't know anything outside of a MTF (military treatment facility). So long story short - I'm upset, I'm hurt, and I'm mad, and I feel like I've failed.

I know I can't say this wouldn't of happened in Virginia Beach - but board would be a heck of a lot cheaper there than here. And supplies are a lot cheaper there than here. I wish I weren't as emotional as I have been this past week. It's like in the middle of my day I find myself wanting to break down and cry - over nothing. I find myself wanting Erik home and then once he is home wanting him to go back to work. I realize I'm being irrational over everything. I just don't know how to stop it.. how do you tell your emotions to chill out? Is it even possible to tell them to just relax?

I don't know what I'm doing anymore, I feel lost, like I am constantly in this daily repeat of activities. They don't change. I know it's part of being an adult, but its lonely, and tiresome, and just boring. I feel lost. Completely lost. I wonder if this is how it feels to lose your memory? I mean I remember everything, songs, tasks, names, ect. But to be rolling through the motions of the day and feel completely lost in doing them.

I really just need to take time for myself out of the day, time to focus on myself. Time to regain my sanity because clearly I've lost it. I also need to take time with Erik. We haven't really had just an 'us' weekend since we moved in, although I wonder if time together is really what we need. I'm so tired of the stupid little fights, so tired of just feeling alone.

Okay so my repetitiveness is showing.. back to work for me then. I won't drag this out any further than what I have. Clearly I'm lost in my thoughts and I apologize for the dragging on and the lack of structure in this post..

Have a great thursday, and a great weekend.

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

What a weekend

Saturday was an emotional day for me, not really sure why or what caused it. But it was. We got a storm in, and it was actually the first real storm that we had gotten since we've been here, and I really hate storms. The scare the beegeez out of me. I rather do a hurricane anyday than a thunderstorm. I know, it isn't exactly understandable. Either way, I was pretty emotional. I think it had a lot to do with the week, it was rather long and the puppy has been wanting to be up and about at 5 in the morning, and I'm the primary care for her, since Erik doesn't get home until 4:30 and then just wants to relax and whatnot. So I was dragging, and it's frustrating not getting help during the week. So I basically lost it, all it took was one little short sentence and I lost it.

It's been a challenge for me, not seeing my family and not being able to help with everything going on. It's also been a big pill to swallow not having real friends here. It seems like everyone is 30 and has children, and that's just not where I am in life right now. But back to my family. I've been feeling pretty neglected by them lately, it's just like I move away and I'm gone, don't worry about me type thing. When I left I kept hearing, oh we'll come visit you soon, soon turned into July, and then now September. I get that my parents work and they aren't retired and just can't come and visit whenever and that my youngest brother is still in school. I understand that. But.. I just feel forgotten. My other brother seems to be going through some stuff lately. I'm pretty positive that alcohol has a lot to do with it and I wouldn't be too surprised if there isn't more to the story than just booze. He isn't exactly hanging around real "friends" more or less the type that just want to be his friend because he has a job. I know I wasn't the best role model for him, and I know I did stupid things and wasn't exactly the best person for a little bit. I just woke up one morning and sort of realized what I was doing wasn't me, it was the people around me and I changed that. But it doesn't seem like my brother is going to have that moment. And I'm pretty worried. I want to fix it, but I'm seven hundred miles away. I also know first hand that you can't just make someone change. If he isn't ready to move on and be responsible, it just won't happen. You can't make someone quit doing certain things, especially when those things help 'release' stress and turn day to day activities into, something else. I know he is pushing my parents buttons and I know that he is twenty and can handle his own, but I'm worried it won't end well. I don't think it will and I just want to keep everyone else from the hurt and pain that it is going to cause.

I'm just to the point of not knowing how to handle things, it's been pretty hard on me since we've gotten here. Erik doesn't really understand, because he's been away from his family for extended periods of time. He's used to it so to say. I'm not, and it hurts feeling like your not a priority on your families list. I don't feel like I matter sometimes. I do talk to my mom during the day through email, and I try to call often. But it's like when I do call they are off living their own lives, which is really what they are supposed to be doing. I just don't feel like I'm part of it anymore since I'm so far away. I really want my dog here, she always is such a joy to be around and is the sweetest dog anyone could ask for. I miss her.

I think it's also disappointing that a lot of people I called friends, have disappeared. All except maybe like three or four tops. The weird thing is, is I should of expected it. When Erik deployed, a lot of 'friends' just disappeared, and I found two girls who are amazing, and are military wives. Funny thing is, those are the only two friends who I've actually kept a relationship with, not the friends who I've been friends with since elementary school. It's a little sad, but it's what I expected.

I guess enough of the rambling, I tend to dwell on things, and it really isn't a good thing to do. I probably should make more of an effort to stop. It isn't good for my sanity and it certainly isn't good for Erik's. On a positive aspect, Sunday was a great day. It was nice to just relax and spend time with him. We ended up going to walmart and got a kiddie pool for the puppy, and she absolutely loves it. The best $15 we've ever spent.

Oh, I might also add that if you are in the market for a Steam Cleaner, for the carpet. I used my Hoover SteamVac with clean surge last night, and I plan on doing the entire house this weekend. I absolutely love it. Definitely a great buy. I got it for a steal and it's pretty stinking awesome.

I hope this week goes well for everyone, including myself. We still need to go out to the old apartment and clean it out and return the keys. But other than that, it should be a quite week and weekend. I'm hoping to get a lot cleaned, and decorated since Erik's parents will be here at the end of the month. It's pretty decorated for the most part, but I'm a girl and I like thinks just right. I'll have to post some updated pictures soon.

Happy Tuesday!

Friday, May 13, 2011

Umm... Okay?!

Well I guess Blogspot didn't like my last post? What in the world - that's a load of Bologna! I was pretty excited about my award too. I'm going to hold off on reposting it, simply because, we all know that nothing that's posted online ever really disappears. So I am going to keep my finger's crossed that it comes back.

Well Jade had her first vet appointment today! Little girl is 21.6lbs! Skinny minnie!
In the truck on the way there

She actually, believe it or not, loves riding in the car. She either sits there and acts all pretty or she sleeps. Jade is definitely going to be a great car buddy. She still is pretty protective, which I like, but she spends the majority of the day with me, attached to me.

On another note, I completed my first diy project and I promised pictures, so here they are:
 Before and After obviously. I like them a lot, I even got some extra fabric to change out the colors with when I get tired of them. Now, I am just trying to figure out how I want to decorate our bedroom and bathroom. I was thinking about getting some external shutters and hanging them up on the inside, above our bathtub where the window is for decoration, but I don't know about it anymore. I started thinking about putting up this Paris picture I love, but I'm not 100% sure that's what I want in there yet. I know, I know. It really isn't a big deal, I can always find a spot for it. I just want it to be pretty and relaxing in there. Our guest bath, which I will be sure to post a picture of soon, is beach themed, so I don't want to put another beach picture in the master bath. I'm sure I will figure it out, I just hope I will soon. I want our master bath, and bedroom, to be pretty, and light, and airy. Just a place for relaxation, ya know? I doubt it is going to be what I want anytime soon, really, but I can dream and play I guess in the mean time.

More importantly, I just want the guest bedroom and my office done soon. I am looking for an oversized stuffed chair for my office, and an end table. And then I just need to hang up things in the guest room and make it all pretty for when Erik's parents come down. I'm hoping to make some awesome finds this weekend. I do need to find a new vacuum.. because ours sucks! Big time! I HATE it! And I really am hoping to go to the home goods store and find some pretty things. Maybe some inspiration. :) I hope everyone has a great Friday and an amazing weekend!

Thursday, May 12, 2011

Aww Shucks!

First things first, J from Life as a Secret Squirrels Other Half sent me an award. Me! Okay maybe I think it's pretty neat and you don't but whatever. I don't care. I never really even thought people actually read my blog. Like I know there are 'followers' but I didn't really think people actually read what I wrote. But anyhow.. back to the award. :)
So since it's life, there are rules.
Firstly, to thank the person who gave you the award. So - Thank you J!
Secondly, post 7 random facts about yourself.
Thirdly, pass it along.

So 7 random facts about myself.. hmm.. I seem to be an open book when it comes to things. But I'll give it a shot :)
  1. I'm a history nerd, specifically US History, I love learning about it. I love visiting old plantation homes that have been preserved since the 1600-1800's. I just think it's really neat.
  2. I may act pretty fearless in real life, and very certain of well - everything. But I have my fears just like everyone else. Example - I am terrified of death, dying, specifically the what happens afterwards aspect. Like I literally have a panic attack every time I think of it.
  3. I think I've mentioned it before but I am a medical mess. I have Duane's Retractrion Syndrome and no - it's not as bad as the pictures. But when I take pictures I have to stand on a certain side of Erik so it isn't noticeable. I was joked pretty bad in school about it - dumb kids. I also have Graves Disease which was treated by radioactively killing my thyroid gland and now I am and will be on thyroid pills - synthryoid - for the remainder of my life. I also suffer from migraine's.. but thankfully they have gotten a lot better.
  4. I am insane about keeping our house clean. I enjoy having a clean home, and not having to dedicate a whole day a week to cleaning. So I do it daily. It's just us two, and well the furbabies, so there really isn't much to clean up after. But, long story short, I enjoy a clean home.
  5. I'm still really new at this blogging thing. I really want to make a cute 'button' as a link to my blog, but haven't a clue how to. I also want to make my page really pretty, but haven't quite figured it out yet. I'd love some help if anyone knows how to do it and wants to help me out :)
  6. I'm semi addicted to Facebook. It's on my phone - which is probably horrible.
  7. I get really upset when people take advantage of things they have or things that are given to them. The pell grant is a great example of this. It amazes me how much I struggle to pay for school with loans, but yet if Sally want's to go get knocked up and have a baby then she'll get a grant to go to school. It isn't exactly fair in my book. But that's an entire other post.

So now... I have to pick some other ladies to award this to. :)

Cassie at A Barton Kind of Family
Hillary at The Kitchen Bitch Blog

Other than that I hope everyone is having a great Thursday, it's almost Friday! I'll post pictures of my newest diy project, which I am pretty proud of, soon. As for now, it's work and busyness of people fixing things and getting fence estimates.

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Pretty Domestic :)

I definitely am getting that decorating and homemaker itch. I officially have my first diy project. There are these really awesome frame's I found that I want to find some fabric for and hang them up. I can't wait to post the before and after pictures of it. I ended up scoring the frames from an old neighbor at the apartment complex. I'm not sure how he scored them, maybe from working at Victoria's Secret, but hey they're pretty neat. I'm pretty excited to see how it turns out.

On another hand, I've now been off birth control for two months now and am finally feeling pretty good, and like I'm back to normal. I still have days where I feel off, but everyone does. We've also been down in Jacksonville, two months tomorrow. I can't believe how fast time goes by, I also can't believe how much can be accomplished in two months. We moved down here, found and bought a house, and moved into it. Pretty crazy if you think about it. It works for us though.

I'm starting to get this horrible decorating, and home body itch. If it doesn't pertain to us going out and getting something for the puppy/us/house. I don't want to go out. I just want to stay home and make our home, well a home. I love being able to decorate and not having to worry about undecorating in a few months/weeks.

I also forgot to mention my recent coupon scores! I think I mentioned I got two free Lysol Dual Action wipes for free at Target. Well I went grocery shopping on Saturday at the commissary, I didn't score too many things for free although I did get a toothbrush and two Nivea chap sticks for free. But I did save $44.05 thanks to coupon skills. I may not be an extreme couponer, but hey a penny saved is a penny earned. I did score two Clean and Clear products for a $1 each, paid only .25 cents for some Bagel Bites, .79 cents for Nature's Valley Granola bars and .30 cents for Hamburger Helper. Overall I got some pretty awesome deals, and saved a good chunk of money. Let's hope next grocery trip I can top that. I think I would of saved more had they not closed early. But oh well.. I'm hoping for $50 worth of savings next time and making it under $200 for a month's worth of groceries.

Monday, May 9, 2011


It doesn't take much to get my mind rocking and rolling in thoughts lately. It could really be anything that gets that ball rolling. I know I'm not the 'golden girl' that followed every rule in life, I'm the girl who tends to do things backwards, sideways, and any way in between.

I'm the girl who is the 'oddball' so to say. And honestly, I'm pretty okay with that. I've done a lot of things backwards, or not in the 'proper' order. Erik and I live together and we aren't married, and frankly there are a lot of people who aren't happy about that, I'm sure. But I really don't care. It works for us, and I think it is a lot better than those couples who go and get married just so they can live together and then divorce three years later.

I didn't really realize how much of an oddball I was really, until we moved down here. In Virginia Beach, I was still home, I lived out on my own with my boyfriend - which is common. But I was still in my hometown. Since we moved here, I've begun feeling more and more of an oddball. It's like no one else is on the same path as myself. We live in a wonderful neighborhood, in an amazing home. But everyone around us is a good ten years older than ourselves, if not more, and they all of children. Heck - we got looked at pretty funny last night for saying we don't have children. I almost feel as if I am out casted because we are young. I was really, really hoping to make new friends in our neighborhood, and have cookouts and just enjoy the 'community' living. But instead, I'm looked down upon.

I know things will get better, I do. I know eventually I will make friends, and have friendships that are as close as family. But right now, it's a tough pill to swallow. I don't mind being the oddball out, I'm myself, whether or not its 'in style' or not. It just sort of stinks not being able to find a friend who is in the same place in life as I am. I'm not saying by any means, that I can't be friends with someone who has children. Heck two of my great friends do. All I'm saying is it'd be nice to meet someone down here who is in the same place I am. As much as I would love to be a mom, that's just not where I am in life right now. I am still young, I still have things I want to do before embarking on that adventure.

I guess I am rambling - the point I am getting at is it's hard to find girls who are where I am at in life, it's hard to make friends who truly understand where your coming from. I just hope it happens sooner, rather than later.

Thursday, May 5, 2011

Oh goodness!

Oh sweet baby Jesus.

I don't know where to begin, nor where to start anymore. I'm so utterly drained emotionally, I'm to the point where I'm not exactly sure where to begin anymore. Erik's back has gotten worse and the doctors haven't called to schedule an appointment at all, it's been phone call after phone call and no calls back. So he's in pain, and ladies we all know men are big babies when they're sick. So why was I expecting him to be able to handle the pain any differently? I really, really needed a break from the dog yesterday. I've been working longer hours and have been taking care of her since we got her. So I needed a break, and was looking forward to him getting home. Did that happen? No.

I don't mind taking care of Jade, she is adorable and is pretty stinking smart. We're getting along a lot better, and she's pretty much my shadow and whines terribly when I don't pay attention to her. But I feel as if, I don't know.. I feel as if I am making all the sacrifices. I arrange my schedule around her, I arrange estimates for things for the house estimates - like the tree removal and the fence. I decorate it and clean up. Constantly it feels like. I admit since all my attention has been geared towards the puppy it isn't as clean as I'd like it to be, and I haven't had a chance to fold the laundry up yet but I will have it done today.

I don't know. Maybe I feel as if I am the one making all the sacrifices because I moved down here and left it all ya know? I don't know if maybe there is some sort of resentment growing, or if it's just frustration. But regardless, I don't like this feeling. I'm sure it will go away eventually, and I know his back will feel better soon. Either way, that's how things are right now. Not exactly hunky doory. I'm trying so hard to have everything just right before the housewarming get together on Saturday night, which is really more or less Erik having friends over, since we all know I don't know anyone here. On top of that Erik's parents will be here in a couple weeks. So I just want everything to look really nice.

Anyways. Enough of my jumbled thoughts for the day. I need to get back to work and keep this puppy occupied. On a positive note, Jade did sleep in her own dog bed last night all night. Only whined for a few minutes and only had to put her back once. So that was a big accomplishment! She's been great with going outside when she needs to go potty. Just need to work on the communication with it. She whines all the time, so when she whines to go out - and there's only been two occasions - I sometimes think she is whining to whine. But I'm sure it will click with time. She's pretty smart. And they say with German Shepherds you only have to tell them no more than 3 times, so we should be good, fingers crossed.

Here's to hoping I can get everything cleaned up today, grocery shop (thanks to Chelsea for coming to watch the puppy while we go! thank god!) and get laundry done.

Happy Thirsty Thursday - I hope someone has a shot of tequila for me!

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

I've got the fix...

The cure to baby fever, definitely is a puppy. Oh my goodness, my baby fever is gone, at least for a while. I am so utterly exhausted. Sleeping isn't going so well, we're trying to teach her to sleep on her bed but cave in and let her sleep in the bed because we're just so tired. She cries when she can't see us. Not to mention I can't even take a peaceful shower, she sits at the door (we have a shower stall, the stand showers - with a separate tub) and she watches me and whines the entire time. I know its going to be rewarding, but for sure it's tiresome.

It's definitely cured, or at least temporary taken care of my baby fever. I couldn't imagine taking on a baby right now, not with a puppy. She is going to make a great dog there is no doubt about that. But right now, it's extremely tiresome. I also feel the whole one 'parent' thing, Erik is at work all day long, he leaves at 5 and is home at 5. I'm the one with her all day long, I have to punish her when she chews on things she isn't supposed to. Not him, he gets to come home and be the 'good cop'. I'm hoping things will get better soon, I'm sure it'll take a good month or so, I know it's only temporary. So, hopefully before Erik's parents come in a few weeks it'll be done with.

I've had some pretty accomplished days lately, I've gotten estimates to get the tree on the property line removed. I've gotten the ridiculous ComCast issue taken care of, I've set up another estimate for the fencing. I'm going to google some more fencing companies as well and get some estimates from them. Oh! I also scored two free things of Lysol Wipes from Target yesterday thanks to a handy dandy coupon. They were $1.08 each, and I had 2 $1.50 off coupons off of one Lysol wipe product. So, that made them free with a 94 cent credit. :) Go me! I've been really on top of them lately, so I am really excited to use them and score some awesome cheap and free deals!

I hope everyone has a happy Wednesday!

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

New Addition

So there is a new addition to 'Our Family' you can say. And no, I am not pregnant. Yesterday there was Erik, myself, Funny Bunny and as of last night we added Miss Jade into our family. She seems to be getting into the family, okay. I've got my fears about it. I've had dogs all my life so that isn't an issue. Funny is pretty pissed about the whole situation, this is one bunny who really has an attitude and something to say about everything she has just always been that way. The dog could really seem to care less about her. So, hopefully it will work out. I'm pretty worried about the responsibility of it all, we can't just up and leave for a weekend or anything anymore. And we are always one couple that has been pretty spontaneous. But I just hope we made the right choice.

Anyways, meet Jade, the newest addition:

That's about all that's going on here. I hope everyone is having a great day!

Monday, May 2, 2011

Where were you?

"Where were you when the world stopped turning, that September day?" Where were you when you heard about the bombing of the USS Cole? I could tell you exactly where I was at for both events. I heard about the USS Cole when getting ready for school, I was getting ready to go to school and was in the sixth grade. I think my daddy was deployed during this time and my mom didn't want us to hear the news. But I heard it, and was scared and sad. My heart goes out to those families who lost their Sailors that day, I could not imagine the pain and the hurt that they have endured. My heart hurts even more so for those families, because to me, it seems as if the bombing of the USS Cole has been forgotten.

On September 11th, 2001 I was in school attending middle school in the 7th grade. It was a normal morning for us, my dad was deployed on the USS Enterprise, my mom was getting my brothers and I off to school and herself ready for work. I remember being in band class (don't judge, LOL! I played the flute for a year) and I heard someone say a plane hit the twin towers and didn't really understand what happened. The rest of the day was sort of a blur, in a erry way, many of my friend's parents came and picked them up from school. Most of my teachers were upset and didn't teach much at all, phones were ringing and it was just erry. I wasn't really sure what was going on to be quiet honest. When I got home my mom was in tears and just hugged me long and hard, and then that's when I realized something really, really bad had happened. We watched the horror that had unfolded that morning on the news. Just too shocked to move, to look away. It was heart wrenching. I remember listening to the voicemail my daddy had left us during the day, he had said, "Hey everyone, I miss you and I love you. I won't be home on time, and I'm not sure when I will be home. But I am safe and we are going to go kick some bad guy's ass. I love you and I will call when I can."
I will never, forget that day, not for the rest of my life and I won't ever forget where I was last night, on May 1st, 2011 when I found out that horrible man was killed by an amazing Navy Seal team based out of Virginia Beach, Virginia. I was in bed, exhausted, with Erik and we just so happened to turn on the news and see that Obama was making a speach at 1030 at night on a Sunday, that struck us as pretty weird. That late on a Sunday, something had to be up. Especially since we had heard that the bases security would be raised due to recent events. So we watched and waited and found out that Osama (or Usama depending on who you are) Bin Laden was dead! Thank the lord! That horrible man got what he deserved, a bullet courtesy of the US Navy right in his head.

It was amazing, to see the outburst of patriotism, and relief that our country felt as one last night. I truly think things will change, hopefully for the better, now that this black cloud is gone. I hope that we can move forward as a country and solve the bigger problems that are at hand, and solve them reasonably.

On another hand, we are pretty much completely moved into our home. I absolutely love it, and it's an amazing feeling to have to finally be home. I can't wait to start putting things up on the wall and making it more like ours. I've been looking forward to this for a long time.

I hope everyone has a great Monday!