Saturday, November 5, 2011

Worry less - live more.

"Can any of you, by worrying add a single moment to your life-span? Why are you anxious about clothes? Learn from the way the wild flowers grow. They do not work or spin. But I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was not clothed like one of them. If God so clothes the grass of the filed, which grows today and is thrown into the oven tomorrow, will he not much more provide for you, O you of little faith? So do not worry and say, 'What are we to eat?' or 'What are we to drink?' or 'What are we to wear?' All these things the pagens seek. Your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness and all these things will be given you besides. Do not worry about tomorrow; tomorrow will take care of itself. Sufficient for a day is its own evil" Matthew 6:27-34

I came across this tonight, and it really struck home. It was exactly what I needed to hear.

Work has really been wearing me out lately. I love my job, but I really think I need some time off- unfortunately I don't know when that time is going to come. For those of who don't know, I don't have benefits at my job, which means I don't receive paid time off. So therefore I don't take time off because I have bills to pay and a wedding to get things for. The normal everyday Americans financial worries. I was really looking forward to our honeymoon because it'll be my first non holiday day off in almost two years. Unfortunately, we don't know when we are going to be able to take our honeymoon now. We have been waiting on the first time home buyers tax credit and it won't be until 2012 that we receive anything. That being said, our honeymoon is up in the air. Especially since we have to be back in time and I have to be caught up with work by the time Erik's sisters wedding comes around. I'm sure it will be just fine, but I do admit I am slightly bummed that I don't know when exactly I will get some time off.

Aside from work, nothing is really new. I am always stressed over the wedding planning and what have you. I'm hoping to start working on some DIY projects I want to do for the wedding. I need to find a few nifty looking picture frames. One specifically for the menu, I want to do a chalkboard menu. At least that's what the plan is now. I might just write the menu on burlap and frame that - we'll see. I need to start getting mason jars together that's for sure. I will get those this week, at least the one's for the centerpieces (I am guessing I am going to need approximately 8-10. I'm thinking we are only going to have between 60-70 guests and I'm not sure how many sit at a table - I think its ten to a table. I am really excited about decorating for the holidays and getting the house all pretty with fall things and soon Christmas stuff! I have been on pinterest lately and have found a few home DIY projects I want to do. There is a Christmas ornament wreathe I want to make. I took a few wine bottles we had here at the house and decorated them. I'm pretty impressed with how they came out to be honest. I love wine bottles, heck I just love wine.

I honestly had a wedding breakdown earlier this week. We have now, under 4 months until the wedding. And for some reason, I don't feel like it's ever enough time! But I really just need to remember, no one will realize the small things except me. Heck, as long as I'm in my dress and look beautiful, Erik is in his tux and we end up married. I won't care. Honestly. That's all people will really remember. I'm not going to beat myself up anymore by trying to make sure everyone likes my wedding (our wedding). It isn't about them, its about us. Who cares if someone thinks I did a horrible job planning it, I for sure won't. I just need to stop stressing out and becoming so anxious over it all.

I'm really working on doing better. Relaxing, and just living life. Worrying less. I'm trying to not stress out if the house isn't freakishly clean, and if my pants fight just slightly snugger on one day than the next. I realized I'm about 5 lbs away from my first goal weight. And that makes me really happy. As long as I can keep it up throughout the holidays - I think things will be okay. I just need to remember moderation is key. I've been doing a ballet video on Erik's late nights because I don't look very elegant doing the video - but I can tell it's really putting things into place. I've also been riding still which I like to think helps. I've learned not to deprive my sweet tooth, but also not to over indulge. I think the only thing really I need to improve - is my self confidence. I don't have any, at all. So any suggestions any one has would be wonderful.

Well.. I'm off to search the house for a wire hanger - I think I got ride of all of them, but now I need one for a DIY project. So fingers crossed. Tomorrow I think we are going to go to the air show - but I'm not for sure yet. I really have to go and find two cute outfits for our engagement pictures next weekend! So maybe shopping is in the plan. We'll see..