Tuesday, November 30, 2010


Things have been so busy lately. So up and down and up and back down again. Firstly my health isn't the best. My good ole thyroid has basically kicked the dirt and I'm waiting on my blood results to prove that so they can up my dosage of synthyroid. The only way I can tell is because I am starting to put on weight (even though I am dieting) and my sex drive is gone (yes people I said sex drive- your thyroid actually controls it). So that's been really bothersome lately. Especially since I've been battling Graves Disease since I was 16.
I've been ober stressed with school and finals (what else is new) and Erik and I have been bickering because of it. Things were doing so much better and then kplat. We aren't having issues, just bickering about weekly. I guess its normal, but I hate it!! We don't fight because after about 10 minutes one of us feels worse about it and its over with.
Top that all off we found out we might not be able to take my Jeep to Florida after all - well until after the move which blows. Thankfully I don't have to leave my house for my job. We are getting ready to do a ton of traveling which I'm not too happy about. We have house hunting leave to do, and Erik doesn't seem to understand how important it is for me to go (even during final's) I mean I would like to see where I am moving 700 miles away from everything I really know and all my family. Its just been stressful lately and all I want to do is cry.
I've been trying really hard to work on my birthday goals, the things I'd like to change. But right now- I guess all I really want is to cry it out and complain. It just seems like things are going wrong (nothing major at least) at the drop of a penny and I just am tired of dealing with it.

Thats basically all for now - I'm hoping for a happier post tomorrow :)

Monday, November 22, 2010

Birthday thoughts.

So.. today is my birthday. I'm officially not a 'fun' age anymore.. just plain ole 22. Supposedly, its a 'lucky' birthday? I don't know if I necessarly believe in that or what. But I've been doing a lot of thinking lately.. a lot. There are a lot of things I don't like, and things I love. I've been thinking that since I'm 22 and I'm supposed to becoming more of a 'lady', there is one quality that I absolutely love in women who are older than I am.. and that is, they recognize their flaws, and either fix them or embrace them.

This has me thinking about my flaws and things that I don't like about myself, not necesarly beauty flaws either. So some of the things that I don't really care for about myself...
  1. I second guess everything. I really really do. I'm not sure if its because I doubt myself, or my judgement, or if its people around me. But this is something I really need to stop doing. It only creates more self torture. This is definitely one of the top things I want to fix.
  2. I don't have a high self confidence- which needs to be fixed. I've been torn to pieces my entire life, and unhealthy relationships both with the opposite sex and friends have caused this. It's not an excuse- just consequences of past events. After being told over and over again that you aren't beautiful, or your too fat, or this or that it starts to get to you. So I need to remember that, I am beautiful 
  3. I pick my self apart in the mirror- you know that whole, oh I'm getting a little pudge, or I could probably work this off- which contributes to number 2. That has got to stop. Yes I go to the gym, because I love the effect of working out and the feeling after a good sweat. But I should not be standing in the mirror doing that. Instead I will address one thing I like instead. For instance- I may not like the size of my arms, but I like that they are muscular, not flabby.
  4. I let things bother me, that shouldn't. Which needs to stop. I need to focus on things, yes, but I do not need to overly stress about them. That just causes a whole mess of emotions which isn't good.
  5. I need to remember that each day is a gift, not a right. I need to remember to live, to love beyond words, and to enjoy the day. Not stress over what tomorrow may bring.
But my biggest one- Is comparing myself to others. You know that girl in the store you see, who is like perfect, but looks nothing like you. Yet you still find yourself comparing your imperfections to her. And then you just feel worse about yourself? Okay- well maybe you don't but I do. I constantly compare myself to everyone else. I am going to try really really hard to stop this, and remember something my parents used to tell me, Everyone else isn't Anne. Which is so true. I'm the only ME. Who can I compare that to - no one!

My list can go on and on, but I figure it is a start. I want to be happy again, not that I'm not, and happiness isn't a goal, its a mood. I want to be able to love myself. I want to just be able to live, and let loose and enjoy life, enjoy the day, and enjoy the ones I love.

So here is to turning 22, and to recognizing that not everyone is perfect, and neither is life, you fall down, you get scraps and bruises and have a scar to tell a story. Here is to loving yourself, and loving life.

Friday, November 19, 2010

A Trip to the E.R

Well today started off pretty normal, and productive. Physics class this morning, paid off a bill, found a part to my jeep and cleaned, and worked. Around twelve thirty, I got a phone call from Erik's LPO, which I thought was weird, until I picked up the phone. Erik got into an accident at work, and was rushed to the ER. So that put some chaos back into my day. Thankfully it's nothing serious, I went and meet them up there, and he had hurt his back at work. So a few hours later I get him home, thankfully was able to pick up his prescriptions on base (I dropped him off at home, and after waiting for two hours for them to call me up!) and now he is asleep and I am home. But the chaos doesn't end.. I have a trip to the store to make. We need some general essentials, and I am working on two wonderful papers that are due next week (not fun!) and had to put in some extra work hours.
But that was my adventerous day, we are supposed to be having my birthday party tomorrow (hopefully Erik is feeling better!) and then my birthday dinner on Sunday with my parents. My birthday isn't until Monday, the 22nd, but since my parents anniversary is that same day, we are doing dinner early.
All in all it was a productive week, school is getting more stressful due to finals coming up, work is still busy - which I enjoy- and just trying to get everything in its 'spot' at our apartment. Not to mention, christmas shopping. I am really really wanting to get everything done early this year! It's a big goal, since Erik's birthday is Dec. 29th, but I am hoping to get Christmas and his birthday done early this year! Well see..

I hope everyone had a great week, and I hope everyone has a relaxing weekend!

Monday, November 15, 2010


Oh.. how I love wine. Theres just something about it that just relaxes and calms you down. I had an amazing weekend, but Monday isn't exactly playing fair. So.. I'll start off on the good.
Friday night we didn't really do much, just sort of hung around, went to my parents and gave my dog one of her baths and just relaxed. Saturday I had class in the morning, of course, and we just relaxed the rest of the day. Erik played call of duty for the most part, and then we went to a friends house and played beer pong. Which is always fun :) Sunday we went to the Outlet Mall and I got some winter clothes (I still need more! lol.. for some reason I don't have heardly any) we had a great day, went to Buffalo Wild Wings for dinner (yum!). Unfortunately Erik lost his military ID, which is a huge ordeal, so that ruined the night and today. I woke up and wasn't feeling good (I was pretty nauseated yesterday too) and it hung around till after class. But before class, some indicator light came on, didn't know what it was and it took me about 20 minutes to figure it out, which turned out to be my tire pressure was low. Got air and realized just how bad my tires are! They are almost bald, so I get to go and get tires tomorrow (not fun!).
Now its a night, where Erik is sleeping early, because he is tired and stressed, and I am sitting here (not taking advantage of being able to watch tv for the first time in like a week) doing research for some physics and women's studies because I have papers due, in like 2 weeks for them both. Ughh... but at least I have my wine, to ease my frustrations and make it a little bit easier not to get upset.

Friday, November 12, 2010

School and Moving

Well thankfully its nearing the end of the semester. But.. school isn't over yet. I've got a paper coming up that's due, as well as another that's for extra credit (which I need!) I also have a few more assignments and tests coming up too. Not a ton of fun, especially when we have house hunting leave, starting 12/3. I don't know how I am going to do it, not a clue. But I've got to get it done. I've got one test due the 29th, a final n the 1st, a paper due by the 3rd, as well as 2 finals that I need to take during that time.

I'm hoping I didn't make a mistake by enrolling in 17 credit hours worth of classes for Spring Semester. We move down to Jacksonville March 10th, and I will still have a few classes I will be doing online from there. I just hope it will be bearable. I'm trying my hardest to graduate in the fall of 2011. It'd be nice to take a break, for a little bit, before starting back up.

I still have no clue what I want to do with my life- as far as a career. I've thought a little bit about teaching, but I think that all that grading, and fighting with kids who just don't care would be a little overwhelming. It's still a thought I'm considering. No clue, what grade level or subject I would want to teach. I was thinking high school - but I knew how I was in high school. I've considered nursing a little bit more, but I still don't think it would be something I would enjoy. I still feel like I have my heart set on physical therapy. I've also started considering becoming a vet tech, but there aren't a lot of job openings out there.

Anyhow.. back to school work for me. I'm so glad these early Saturday morning classes are almost over with, but I'm not looking forward to the stressful, jam packed weeks coming up.

Happy Veteran's Day!

[ I think there is one higher office than president and I would call that patriot. - Gary Hart ]
[ In the beginning of a change, the patriot is a scarce man, and brave, and hated and scorned. When his cause succeeds, the timid join him, for then it costs nothing to be a patriot. - Mark Twain ]

I just wanted to take a moment to remember those who have lost their lives, and those who have willingly sacrificed so much for our great country. I may not like who our President is, nor agree with him on almost anything - especially his most recent idiotic idea for our military- but I love my country.

Happy Veteran's Day. Today is a day that we sit back (some of you, who had the day off) and take a minute to realize everything we have, and thank a military service member. It isn't only about sales (yes, they are a perk), or about a paid day off of work (for some of you), or about even just having your significant other home, because thousands are still deployed. We remember that, we are the home of the free thanks to the brave. The military is a volunteer service, in which a person wrote a blank check to the United States Government up to the amount of their life. They hear and deal with enough crap, especially crap for the hellians of Westbro Baptist, where they deserve at the bare minimum a day to be thanked for their service. So here is a moment where I would like to thank a few veteran's in my life:

-First to my daddy. My daddy has proudly served 30 years active duty in the United States Navy. He retired the highest ranking Master Chief in the navy and was the Old Tar. My father was the type of person who loved serving his country, and loved helping those the fell under his ranking. He was deployed at total of 11 years throughout his career, was aboard the USS Enterprise when 9/11 happened, and turned around immediately (they were transiting home) he proudly signed one of the first bombs that was dropped on Afghanistan. There are way too many accomplishments to list here (hello, 30 year career!) Bravo Zulu Daddy-o!
-Secondly- to the love of my life, my sailor, Erik. My honey buns has been serving (and is still active duty) in the United States Navy for over 4 years now. He has done two deployments (back to back) aboard the USS Eisenhower. While deployed he earned his AW and SW quals (to be dually qualed is huge in the aviation side of things). He has been deployed a total of 17 months, and has just recently (Sept 29th) reenlisted for another 3 years and will be heading from NAS Oceana to NAS Jacksonville. I'm so proud of him, and so proud to call him the love of my life. Bravo Zulu Sweetheart!!

-Thirdly, a dear friend of mine, who was killed during Operation Iraqi Freedom, Kelly 'E.C' Watters. I meet Kelly during middle school (forever ago). He was a great person, loved life, and always had a good joke in mind. Kelly joined the Marine Corps in 2007 and was deployed to Iraq in 2008. He passed away due to injuries sustained from an IED on June 11, 2008. R.I.P

It is because of thousands of others and the three men listed above that we have the rights and privileges that we have. Don't take them for granted. Freedom isn't free.

Happy Veterans Day everyone!

Wednesday, November 10, 2010


Okay.. so the new Call of Duty, Black Ops, came out yesterday at midnight. And being a Navy girlfriend.. I'll write about it. Firstly, I'll say that I don't mind that Erik plays video games for hours on end. I could truly care less, it's what makes him happy. I'm not some freak girlfriend who thinks the world needs to be all about me 24/7- I'm actually the opposite of it. But I will say, that after a while it does get annoying, especially when there is only one television in the house. We live in a basic one bedroom apartment (in case you didn't know) and figured we would save money up by doing so ( haha! right..) , since it would only be about 7 months. Its an open floor concept, so the kitchen, family room, and dinning room are all open to each other. Well.. I work in the dinning room. I don't have a separate room to work from, or do school work from for that matter. So I hear the TV and it normally doesn't bother me. But... it gets annoying listening to call of duty guns going off for hours and hours.
Thankfully Erik realized that I got sick of it after about 4 hours of playing, since I had basically not come out of our bedroom (to get away from the noise, which didn't work) and made one of our quick meals and we watched a movie. So.. that was nice. It still stinks that I have to miss the CMA's but hey.. that's what dvr is for. I just wish I had recorded it from start to end, rather than missing a good thirty minutes of it.

Oh well.. I guess I will try and get some extra school work done, if I can focus.

Monday, November 8, 2010

Super Busy..

November 8, 2010

Wow, have I been busy lately. I had a great weekend with some wonderful people and got to get out and just enjoy being 21, which was nice, since Erik and I never really go out much - because I'm a homebody (haha!). Friday night mainly consisted of beer pong at his friends house, which ended up being super close by, thankfully. Saturday night we went to the Norfolk Admirals hockey game. They lost which sucked, but it was a ton of fun hanging out with friends, drinking cold beer, and watching hockey guys fight, oh and play hockey. Sunday night- the busyness caught up with us. We weren't feeling too good, mainly drained, so we just hung out, relaxed, and I did laundry. We got the Sunday paper for some good ol' coupon cutting (yes, I cut coupons!).
As for today, it's been pretty stinking eventful already. I'm trying to get my waiver in to the military base nearby so I can get my old PCM back. Apparently once your sponsor retires Tricare doesn't care about you.. grr! Super frustrating. I loved her and I know I will be moving soon- but I always, always, get sick in the winter time. Of course, no one ever calls you back in the military world. I also had physics class early this morning, I've gotten the settlement taking care of and cleared up with State Farm from my accident on Nov. 2, 2009. I had to change my doggies vet appointment on base since works going to be busy lately.

Outside of that, I've pretty much cleaned and cleaned, I'm waiting on maintenance to come to fix the hot water heater. Hopefully being nice gets you more than being demanding. Oh - and so far the 3rd Droid X hasn't had a single dead pixel, or frozen on me- yet! (knock on wood, right?)

I hope everyone had an amazing weekend and I hope we all have a kick butt week!

Monday, November 1, 2010

The longest...

November 1, 2010

So tomorrow marks the longest amount of time Erik and I have ever been able to spend together without having to deal with an underway or deployment. Pretty crazy huh?! It really has me thinking a lot lately about how much and how little we have overcome in our relationship together. In almost 2 and half years we haven't been able to spend more than 3 months together without having to deal with a stupid ship. We started dating on July 4th 2008 and by September he had to go underway and again in October and again in January. Deployed in February 21st, 2009 and came home July 31st, 2009 and went underway again in November and deployed again  on January 2nd, 2010 and came home July 28th, 2010. Both deployments have made our relationship unbreakable, we share a bond that I have never shared with anyone else. We've gone through all that time apart with flying colors. The goodbyes, the phone calls, the care packages, the emails, and the homecomings. It sort of made us unstoppable. It's our crazy life.
It reminds me of when I first became a Navy girlfriend, me the girl who said no, not a military man for me. My dad was in  the Navy for 30 years, there was no way I wanted that life. But there was something about Erik. He was so easy to trust from the start, and made it so easy for me to fall head over heels in love with him. Would I go through all that time apart again? Bet your ass I would.
I'm so freakin' proud of how far we came, of how much we've grown that I forget on land, we still have a lot of things to learn. I could name off all of his favorites, and he could name mine. But it's little things. Like understanding each others feelings. Me especially, and golly I feel so bad for my emotions. I can go from one extreme to another extreme and I never know why. Or not getting mad when  he doesn't turn a light off when he leaves a room. Or not bugging each other when either I'm working, or he is trying to do something. We've learned each other from such a far distance, we've become so close from so far away that now, we just have to learn each other from the day in's and out's.
There is no doubt in my mind, that Erik is the one for me. Not a doubt. It's just going to take a little bit of time. I'm excited about all of our firsts, our first Spring together, our first Valentine's day, Easter, saint patty's day, our first anniversary that we can spend together. Our first new years eve that I can spend with Erik without crying my eyes out because I know that meant it was closer to 'd' day. I'm so excited. It's because of deployments that I can be excited, that I've learned not to take anything for granted.
No one ever said the life of a Navy girlfriend was easy, no one ever said it wasn't worth it either. I love my life and I love the love of my life. I wouldn't trade the pride, or the amazing, deep, unbreakable love that we share for anything in the world. We've had a lot of time apart, but now come the wonderful joy's of shore duty and the wonderful time of having him home. :)