Wednesday, October 3, 2012

Updates and Emotions

October 3rd, 2012
27 weeks 1 day

It's been quiet a while since I've written either on here, and even longer since I have written in the journal I've been keeping for the boys. Life has just gotten a little hectic, but I really need to get better about it. I want to have things for them to read when they get older.

I had my 1 hour glucose test back two weeks ago, it really wasn't bad at all. I opted for a Lemon-Lime flavor, since I hate Orange flavored anything. Pretty much tasted like a sugary Sprite. I felt a little dizzy towards the end, and had a horrible headache afterwards from the sugar. But I passed, thankfully. Me, give up chocolate and all things sweet? HA! You've got to be kidding me. No worries, there! The following Thursday, the 19th, I ended up back in L&D around midnight or so. I was having contractions that were 10 minutes apart, water and laying down weren't offering any sort of solution. We got in pretty quickly, and thankfully the wonderful nurses were able to get them to stop and thankfully I wasn't starting active labor. These babies need to cook a lot longer before they are able to arrive.

We had our appointment with our MFM yesterday, at 27 weeks on the dot. They did a cervix check and a growth scan. Baby A is weighing in at 1 pound 14 ounces, and Baby B is weighing in at 2 pounds 4 ounces. We are back up to a 17% growth discrepancy, but they aren't worried about it at the moment - at least that's what they say. There aren't any signs of TTTS (twin to twin transfusion) and it isn't likely that it would develop this late. We got a great picture of Baby B looking at us and you can tell a HUGE weight difference from their 23 week growth scan and yesterdays. He looks like my little gummy baby.

I'm really starting to look VERY pregnant. I really need to post some pictures on here, Erik is horrible about taking pictures - I have to beg practically for him to take one, and then another because the first one looks horrible. Then it ends in me being mad. Just not a good combination I suppose. I'm really feeling the babies move more and more, and I absolutely just love it. I could sit all day long and feel my belly and feel them move. It's one of the most amazing feelings in the world, at least I think so. It makes every heartburn, ache and pain so completely worth it.

We took the boys to their first concert last Thursday, the 27th, to see Brad Paisley, The Band Perry, and Scotty Mccuery. The USO was giving away free tickets to active duty military, which was awesome! I love free tickets and country music. The boys were kicking up a storm the entire time Brad Paisley was on stage. They're definitely going to be mommy's little country boys.

Otherwise things have been quiet here, truthfully I haven't been in the mood to have it any other way. I've been feeling quiet anxious and sad lately. I'm sure it's pregnancy hormones, but either way. I just feel so alone lately. Erik is gone at nights now, and I'm realizing quickly that the friends I have here, aren't like the friends I had back home (it isn't like I have hardly a friend back home any how anymore.. things change when you move away). Back home friends came over, hung out and just chatted with you. Here - it's more of a coffee date once a week and text messaging. Which is better than nothing - and I do like the friends that I have made. It's just... not what I need or what I'm used to. I don't know - this funk isn't hardly fun at all. I honestly just feel sad, it's like this pity party feeling I can't shake. I don't want to be back in Virginia Beach, but I miss certain aspects of it. I miss the environment more than anything I suppose, people are just different here. I just feel.. alone.

I don't know if it's that I miss having family near by, or that everyone and their mother who finds out we are expecting twins ask the question about who we will have to help us or makes a comment about "Oh, you're going to need a LOT of help!". I seriously could scream if I hear that remark one more time. I'm really looking forward to Erik and I having the boys and handling parenthood. We're going to learn so much about each other, and we're going to have to rely on each other and I think that's going to make our relationship a lot closer than we ever imagined. I'm looking forward to having a few weeks with it being just us and the boys before we have company/visitors. I want to be able to recover on my own and not have to worry about having people around. But my heart hurts when I see pictures of family visiting newborns in the hospital, because we don't have that luxury. The nurses and other soon to be parents at our hospital tours were talking about family visiting and I just had to tune it out completely.. we won't have visitors. It'll be Erik and I. I don't even know what we are going to do with Jade at this point in time. I don't trust hardly anyone with her, and I don't want to have friends over who are going to discipline my dog. It's going to be hard for her too. I've got a bazillion thoughts running through my mind, a million things to get done, and I just feel alone.

Here's to hoping better days are around the corner..