Thursday, June 28, 2012

Dr, Dr, Dr..

So yesterday I was just a basketfull of emotions. I woke up in a relatively good mood and then BAM! I was a grouch. I could of ripped off someone's head if I really wanted to. And it started for no particular reason. And then throughout the day just little things annoyed me until Erik went to work. I like having time to myself I'm realizing. Quiet time to work and listen to music. Time to wake up, time to just breathe. So when my husband goes to work, I get that.

We also recieved some news yesterday about the twins and the ultrasound on Monday. The purpose of the ultrasound was to date them to see how they were growing, and to see if they share a placenta - and they do. Which means they are mono/di twins. They are in seperate sacs, so that is a relief. They are definitely identical twins, so we will be having either 2 little boys or 2 little girls. Because they are mono/di twins, we were referred out from base because they don't have the care that we need. Mono/Di means higher risk - because they share the placenta it can cause Intrauternine growth restriction on one of the twins, it isn't promised, but it's a possibility.

The news gave me a slight breakdown. Being raised as a military child I never had to chose my Dr before, and had really good luck. Being a military wife, I didn't chose my Dr or OB care - as it was all on base in the Naval Hospital and had great care so far. So... now I had to pick a Dr for the most important care I would and my babies would recieve! Talk about being overwhelmed! Not to mention our Naval Hospital offered some great classes I wanted to take advantage of, esp the breastfeeding one! So double freak out. Well - it turns out because it wasn't my choice to go out in town for OB care - I can still take advantage of everything on base, especially since my children will be recieving care there as well.

So the taunting Dr search - I looked and looked and looked for hours yesterday and today. And after a slight breakdown, some phone calls to other offices, I think I found the Dr I would like to use. I do have two recommendations for back ups just in the off chance we don't get along so that's good news. I was able to make my new appointment, and will be seen by the new Dr in just about 3 weeks. Phewww!!!

Now I can focus on schoolwork, ordering a book for a class that starts very, very soon. Math homework and housework. Oh and seeing our babies again tomorrow at our NT Scan. Busy time to decide to go back to school, huh? Oh well... life doesn't ever get put on hold I suppose.

Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Just some rain.

June 26, 2012

12 weeks and 5 days.

We had a great ultrasound yesterday morning! It was completely worth getting up at 5am and fighting the rain of Tropical Storm Debby to get to the Naval Hospital. The tropical storm is doing a fantastic job of flooding out our area! The base was almost under water! But we saw on our ultrasound that our babies sure are active! We even witnessed one of the babies (Baby B) kicking the other baby (Baby A). I couldn't believe they were fighting already!! I also found out that when my bladder is full - it's pressing on Baby A and he/she doesn't like that very much. Baby A is my lower baby, closer to my cervix and Baby B is my high riding baby.
This is our Baby A

And this is our Baby B

It's so amazing how fast they grow! At my ultrasound on June 8th they were barely 3 cm long, and they have doubled in size to a little over 6 cms long now!! Insane!! But we got to see our beautiful babies and their healthy heartbeats. The technician was able to get all the information she needed for the doctor to determine if they share a Placenta or not, which will determine if we are able to deliever at the Naval Hospital. If they share a Placenta we are considered Higher Risk and will be referred to a High Risk OB. But right now - they are perfectly healthy! We have a genetic screening ultrasound on Friday and I can't wait to see them again. I love seeing them! We also have an appointment with a Dr on the 2nd - just the normal 4 week follow up care.

Things here have been relatively quiet, but busy. We had a yard sale over the weekend and were able to sell everything (the twin bed) that was in what will now be the nursery. The only thing left in there at the moment is my Great Grandmother's vanity, which will be moved into the other guest bedroom this weekend. Other than that - the only things that are in the nursery are things we have collected or recieved so far for the babies.

I had a pretty rough night last night. It wasn't because of morning sickness or anything, just emotionally it was a little hard on me. I finally broke down and talked with Erik about how I had been feeling recently. I'm excited and thrilled to be pregnant but it doesn't feel real yet to me. I've heard the heartbeats and have seen them on ultrasounds, I've dealt with morning sickness and food aversions. But it doesn't feel real. Like it doesn't feel like there are actually babies growing in my belly. I think it might be because I've put so much pressure on myself. I'm scared about not being a good enough mom or doing things the right way, I'm also scared about going from being a mom to Jade (our furbaby!) to being a mom of TWO! Erik really reminded me last night that I need to have faith in myself and faith in God and that the rest will just come along. That as long as I listen to my heart, everything will be as it's supposed to be.

Other than that things have been quiet here. Not much has changed in the symptom world, still the every other day throwing up - and I can't go long without eating, or else I'm throwing up stomach acid. Still pretty tired, I did get to enjoy a nap today which was so nice. I'm starting to show a little bit. At almost 13 weeks it's about time something goes on down there. I still don't think I look pregnant, just fuller in my stomach area. No weight change which is good. At least none according to my scale. I haven't been super hungry though - I can eat a few bites of something and I'm full. I also don't care for meat lately. I can do chicken but anything else - yuck. My poor steak loving husband.

That's all thats really going on in the H residence. I hope everyone has a great week!

Thursday, June 21, 2012

So far..

June 19th, 2012
11 weeks 5 days

I find myself lately day dreaming about my babies. What it's going to be like to watch my belly grow, to feeling them move for the first time, to feeling the hiccups, to holding them for the first time.

In so many aspects I'm nervous, nervous about becoming a mom and a MoM (mom of multiples). I don't want to do anything wrong, I know deep down I can't do anything 'wrong' and there is no right or wrong way. I just want to do everything right for my babies. I want to give them everything they need and want, I want to teach them about everything, about life, about God, about math, not neccessarly the birds and the bee's - but hey! I've got plenty of time before I need to worry about that discussion. I want to be the fun mom, I want to take them to the park, take them on adventures, watch the clouds roll by, take them to the beach, take them horseback riding. I want them to help me bake cookies and only have a handful left by the time Erik gets home from work.

I'm rather nervous about how splitting up work and babies is going to work. I know once they get older, I can always work during nap times and once they are in bed. I can let Erik do some of the fun stuff and work during that time. As they grow older, I think it'll be easier, I'm rather nervous on how I am going to handle work once they are born. I'm trying to decide or come up with a plan A and a plan B on how it will work. I'd like to have some sort of plan in place with work when I tell my upper management on how I plan to handle work post delivery. Ideally we had planned on my not working for 4 weeks afterwards and then returning to work (I work at home, so being able to walk/drive/get dressed isn't a neccessity for me) but cutting my hours down from where they are at to 20 hours a week to get back into things and then figure it out from there. Part of me thinks I really need to talk to Erik this morning about the possibility of doing 6 weeks as a back up plan and then returning to work. I just don't want to get myself in too much stress nor not be able to give my body time to heal and get used to being a mom. It's a little overwhelming to think about at the moment. We've been taking extra steps to save more money - setting aside money for christmas and baby items as well as living off of what my paychecks will be once I cut back my hours. So I'm positive it will work out.

I think we're still adjusting our thoughts and expectations to having two babies versus one baby. It isn't that we aren't excited - we're thrilled. But when you decide its time to add a baby into your family, you don't think twins. I'm excited to make the adjustment though, and I think it's going to be an amazing adventure we get to experience!

My morning sickness lately has gotten to be hit or miss. It's about every other day I'm throwing up, which isn't too bad. It's definitely tolerable. There are some day's though that I've been thankful for Zofran. They aren't the throwing up days, but the days where I'm just nauseaous all day and all night long and run to the toliet every 10 minutes because I think I'm going to throw up or because I'm gagging - just to not throw up. Other than that, it's really the same thing still. Exhaustion - I'm always tired all the time. I can't ever get enough sleep. Oh and the bloat. Bleh I hate bloat. It makes me feel huge. I haven't gained much weight so far - but my weight still fluctuates - I've in reality gained 3-4 pounds (which is considered normal) and then on my bad days I've gained 5-6 (which is still slightly normal for twin pregnancies). I've tried to get back into working out and being active again, but I admit when the bed is always calling my name - it's hard. Yesterday I was able to get some yoga in and tomorrow I'm hoping to take puppy dog on a nice long walk and add some yoga into that as well. Maybe today I'll do some Jillian Micheals since I don't have much time. I really want to be healthy and active during my pregnancy.

Craving wise - nothing major really, sometimes I indulge in some macaroni and cheese, salt and vinegar chips, or in some reese cup/brownie/cookie cupcakes. But for the most part - I'm really trying to eat healthy. I went shopping last night and got a bunch of fruit and veggies to eat.

I have started to notice a slight bulge in my pelvic area where my uterus is starting to come above it. Erik noticed it when I was hugging him the other day - I didn't think it was that noticeable. So I guess here starts the belly taking pictures!! We also ordered a fetal doppler online yesterday, which should be arriving tomorrow. It's a device that allows us to listen to the babies heart beats at home. We're both excited to use it and to hear the heart beats for the first time - we've seen them on the ultrasound screen, but we haven't heard them yet. We also are planning on making our pregnancy known on Facebook so all of our friends and extended (not close) family will know if they haven't been told by us already. Just waiting to tell my bosses and then we'll put it out there.

Other than that, we're getting excited to see our babies via ultrasound Monday (the 25th!) and then again on Friday the 29th! Great way to start and end the week!

Here's to eating a bit more healthy this week and being a bit more active!

Life is busy!

June 11th

10 weeks 4 days

Life has been so busy lately, I haven't had time to stop and think let alone sit down and write. It's not been super busy, but busy enough to where when I have time to sit down and relax the last thing I have on my mind is writing. Which - I should change. I really want to do better with journeling about our pregnancy and changes and what's on my mind during this exciting time. Especially since this could be our only pregnancy. (We haven't decided completely yet if we want more than 2 children. Frankly - I'm a little scared to get pregnant again! LOL!

We had an appointment on Friday, the 8th. We got to see our two beautiful babies on the ultrasound screen! So exciting! There was a point where she wanted to get both babies in the picture shot for her records and couldn't. So she asked me to press down near my pelvic bone and showed me how - so I did. and BAM! Baby #2 popped up on the screen after playing hide and seek for a little while. Baby wasn't too happy about it, because you could see his or her arm's and legs just moving like crazy in protest! Brought tears to my eyes and will forever be a moment I'll treasure. Erik got a HUGE kick out of it and still lights up when that moment is brought up. I think that moment really hit home with us, that these are our babies. They look so much more like babies than peanuts now! So insane how fast they grow!

We found out that we are in fact delivering at the Naval Hospital, which is a relief to me. I didn't want to go out in town - esp because the Naval Hospital is the closest hospital to our home! Plus they have some amazing perks - like a lactation consultant and other wonderful things. It's just more comforting, and has a pretty river view. :) The mid-wife did say that because we are having twins we will be monitored every 4 weeks by a Doctor, rarely will we see a Mid-Wife. It bums me out a little bit because she was super nice and friendly! But I'm sure most of the doctors are (on base you won't normally see the same doctor every appointment - it's just whomever can see you first). We also found out after we hit 28 weeks, we will be monitored every 2 weeks. Also - because the MidWife can't date twins - we have another ultrasound set up in 2 weeks to see our beautiful babies. We opted to do the NT Scan (which is a genetic testing scan - they take my blood and then do a level II ultrasound of the twins to detect any abnormalities) the scan isn't 100% conclusive and we won't do any further testing after words. I just thought that 1 - we want to see the babies again and 2 - it would be nice to know what risks we have so we can be a little bit better prepared. So that is scheduled for 2 and half weeks from now.

Everyone at the Naval Hospital were thrilled for us - everyone loves twins! Erik found a twin club in our area that we're excited to get involved in! I plan on emailing them after our dating ultra sound in 2 weeks. Just to be safe. I'll be 13 weeks then - so it just feels right. I'm interested to see what activities they do. I also need to call our Church and see what we need to do to have our babies baptized. But - that'll wait until after the ultrasound as well.

I'm so excited! We plan on doing a yard sale to clean out our bedroom that is going to be the nursery. And we are going to move my great-grandmothers vanity that I have into the guest bedroom.Our wedding items that I am insisting on keeping will be going into the attic and then the room will be all empty and ready to decorate and get ready for the twins!! We were given two crib mattresses by a great friends friend - she had twins and is a fellow Navy wife. They're PCSing to Hawaii (so lucky!) and she gave us a few things! So very sweet of her and the mattresses look brand new! Definitely grateful for that! We also made our first baby purchase this weekend - Pamper diapers! We definitely want to stock up on a good amount and good variety of diapers - and use my couponing to save some money on them! We decided on our first baby item we want - the Baby Trend Double Snap N Go stroller. It's pretty much a stroller frame where you can just snap the infant car seats in to them and go. Easy and quick! I've been reading a ton of reviews and that's the one of the better double car seat strollers you can get. I think we've pretty much decided on the Combi Twin Sport Stroller as well. Even better - the NEX carries it for a good $40 cheaper than out in town! Can't beat that!

Overall - I've been feeling pretty good. I've had a bigger bout of morning sickness (or all day sickness lately) with actually getting sick a handful of times. Other than that not much else has changed. My tata's have grown a full cup size and I can tell that I've put on weight. It mostly comes and goes. Certain day's the weight gain shows more than others. Lovely bloat. Mainly my big symptom is exhaustion. I am ALWAYS tired. I could sleep 12+ hours and still be tired. I've read its because my body is working overtime to grow the placenta(s) - we aren't sure if they're one or two yet - and to grow the babies. But - I'll take some sleep. I love sleeping.

I did have my first craving - for my 2nd Dad's Biscuits and Gravy (I only have 1 real dad - but I have a self adopted 2nd dad who is my old best friends dad, I've known him for as long as I can remember). He makes the best biscuits and gravy ever and that's all I wanted. Obviously living 900+ miles away from home, I couldn't get it - but settled for Tennessee Pride Gravy and some Pillsbury biscuits. I did like the sound of mashed potatoes as well last night to go with our dinner - but it wasn't a die hard craving.

Here's to hoping I get better about sharing this experience and writing it all down. I'm sure one day it'll be so nice to sit down with the twins and share this with them and for myself to look back and see how I was feeling during it all.

8 weeks

May 25th

8 Weeks 1 Day

Oh man how I feel oh so pregnant. The nausea comes and goes throughout the day, and whatever sounds good smells horrible. I'm working on eating better - but my tiny nose seems to not want to agree with my head. I haven't thrown up in over a week - which is good - but sometimes I wish I could just throw up rather than hanging over the toilet and feeling like I want to - but can't. Other than that - my ta-ta's have grown a full cup and still just hurt. It's like this constant nagging pressure that won't go away. Otherwise; other than being extremely tired and a few dizzy spells here or there. I'm good as gravy.

The babies are each the size of a raspberry this week and they are in their very last week as an embryo! Next week they become fetus status. But - I still prefer baby, because that's what they are. So far I've only gained about 2 pounds - which I think is just bloat weight. I've been super bloated. But - I've found that exercising and uping my fiber intake really helps big time, on top of the fact that I drink a TON of water.

My next appointment isn't for another 2 weeks and I can't wait! I just want to see my babies, our babies, and know that everything is okay and that they are growing and doing well. I just feel so blessed and so lucky to be on this journey and I truly can't wait to see how my body changes and grows as our babies grow.

For now - I'm definitely going to treasure every moment and cherish it. Even if it means hanging over the toilet. :) Because that itself means that everything is going how it's supposed to.

I hope everyone has a happy Memorial day weekend - I for sure will hopefully be enjoying some beach time and some grilled food. I just hope everyone can take the time to remember what the weekend is really about - those who passed fighting for our freedom's and rights. Those who died defending our flag and our country. Please keep their families in your thoughts and prayers this coming weekend. I can't imagine their pain and hurt, but I do appreciate - eternally - the sacrifice their loved ones and they have made.

Eventful Wednesday

May 18th,

It's been a hectic couple of days here in the H residence. Since wednesday life has taken a pretty big upside down loop, that the Mr and me weren't quite ready for.

So Wednesday morning I woke up just before 5 soaking in sweat and just that tell tale sick feeling and proceeded to run to the toilet where I pretty much hung out throwing up nothing for 5 hours. Dry heaving, and I literally just shoved crackers and water into my mouth so I'd have something to throw up. It was horrible. Top it off I had a bad migraine that just kept progressing. Thankfully - it decided to be a rainy day so there wasn't any intruding sunlight that made me want to poke my eyes out. If you've ever suffered from migraines, you know what I mean. I figured at first the throwing up was the start of my morning sickness, after all I was 6 weeks and 6 days pregnant on Wednesday. But after 4 hours Erik got concerend. Migraines become unbearable if your dehyrdrated - and when I haven't been able to keep anything down for 5 hours, dehydration becomes a huge possibility and I knew that wasn't healthy for me or the baby. So I eventually caved in to Erik and we headed to the base ER. I knew they'd want to do an IV for fluids and I didn't know what exactly I could take for a migraine because the nurses line didn't answer their phone. So - we went.

The triage nurse kind of pissed me off because she assumed I had a 28 day cycle - pushing me back to 6 weeks 3 days. Umm - not true lady. This gal here has 25 day cycles - and I know our conception date so take that. I ignored her. So this nice Dr comes in to see me. I told him why I was here, I also mentioned that I had been having this cramps around my right ovary for two weeks or so now - normally dull and achy but sometimes stabbing and shooting. But I was here for my migraine and the vomiting. Well, the doctor wanted to just confirm the pregnancy was intrauterine since I hadn't had my first real doctors appointment yet - it isn't for another 3 weeks. So - Erik got to witness a transvaginal ultrasound. If I could of taken a picture of his eyes I would of. Hahahaha! Anyways - so he does confirm that the pregnancy was in fact in my uterus - yay! And then proceeds to ask us "What do you think of twins?" Okay - not comfortable to laugh with a dildo cam up your lady area - just saying. Erik has this HUGE smile and is almost laughing and crying at once and I'm just in pain and ask the Doctor if he is kidding. Nope - We have twins. Two healthy heartbeats and two healthy fetal poles. Twin #1 had a bpm of 140 and Twin #2 had a variable bpm of 120-150.

Baby A is at the side, and Baby B is up at the top - kind of hiding.

So they fix my migraine, give me medicine to take home for that and my nausea and tell us I am having twins.

I'm not going to lie - I was severly panic ridden. Erik was overly excited. When you become pregnant you think about 1 baby. Devoting all your time and love and attention to one child. Being able to give one child everything. One crib, a stroller for one baby - the cute easy to fold ones, 1 car seat (we were planning on downgrading my Jeep to a car until we were ready for another child 3 - 4 years down the road). Financially you prepare yourself for one child. So up until yesterday I was in this panic funk. But it hit me yesterday.
Twins just mean twice as many kisses, twice as many milestones, double the love, double the cute little toes. They'll always have a best friend no matter where the Navy sends us. I'm not sure why I doubted Erik and I and God's plan for us. But I'm really not going to do that anymore. God has a plan, and through him all things are possible. I just need to trust in that.

So - now I can say I'm overly thrilled and so excited. I can't wait to be a mommy of two! It's definitely going to be an upside down adventure, but I can't wait to go on it!


May 14th

We went to Kentucky over the past weekend for my sister-in-law's wedding. The drive up wasn't too bad - outside of the fact that the car we rented had no cruise control, which to us so super weird. Her wedding was beautiful and everything came together perfectly.

We told our parents over the weekend about our growing baby - Erik's on Saturday as a early Mother's Day gift, and mine on Sunday - Mother's Day. We gave them a double hinged picture frame, with a picture of us and our parent's from our wedding day. And on the other side, we wrote a note that said, "Sorry, our next family photo isn't due until January 2013!". We thought it was a cute idea.

Erik's parents were thrilled. His mom was so excited - they've been wanting a grandchild for a couple of years now. And this will be their first grandchild. My MIL did however, get extremely upset when we tried to explain that we didn't want anyone to come down for 2 weeks after the baby was born. And I can completely understand her being upset. I guess my upbringing is really a lot different than Erik's. I didn't see my grandparents except for maybe once a year - they lived 12+ hours away. Erik on the other hand, lived minutes from his grandparents. So he knew them well and visited almost daily. I grew up in a military family, where we didn't have that comfort of being near family, and my children will grow up in that environment - where friends sometimes are closer then family. So I can see why she is upset and she was able to understand my points about how I do not want my baby to be held constantly, or being passed around. I want my baby to not be in a stressful environment and I don't want to have to worry about my appearance days after I have a child. So - we said we would figure something out - which we need to sit down and do sooner rather than later.

My parents just gave us a "Congratulations and We're so happy for you" response. I was kind of hoping for a bit more. But I was tired when we spoke with them, and I could be taking it the wrong way.

I have noticed from the past week or so that I feel extremely over protective of our growing baby. I've always been laid back and go with the flow type of person, and now I feel like I need to be in control of anything pertaining to our baby. I just want what's best, and I feel very set in my ways on what that is right now. I'm sure it's something plenty of first time mom's go through, or at least I would like to think it is.

Nothing really new has been going on here other wise. Just sleeping as much as possible, which isn't hard since I'm tired all of the time. Other than that, same ol thing going on. I did start school back up today. I'm registered in 4 classes, or 13 credit hours. Thankfully, I was able to utilize the MYCAA grant to finish my associates. I'm in a bit of a dilemma. I could finish in December with my AA, or I can push it out until May and take an additional 3 classes of prereq's for my Bachelors that I wouldn't have to pay for. I'm not really sure what I want to do. I know which option is the smarter one, however, I still rather be finished earlier than later. So.. we'll see how it figures it's self out.

24 day's until we get to see our peanut on our first ultrasound. I can't wait to see him or her and hear their heartbeat for the first time. I'm debating on purchasing a doppler to use at home to listen to it, but I'm not sure if I want to spend the $60 on it. When it can be used for something else for the baby, but I'm sure it would be used often. We'll see....

Till next time!

Wednesday, June 20, 2012

You + Me = 3

I haven't shared this yet, because we aren't announcing until we get into our second trimester because there are so many things that can and could happen. But I wanted to start writing posts and I'll publish them at a later date. Sorry for any recent MIA status I might of been giving off! I was still here, just writing in secret!

Friday May 4th:
So, we are officially expecting our first baby! We had been TTC for not very long at all, and were extremely blessed to conceive as quickly as we did. I had been charting for 4 months prior, and it's really been helpful with noticing changes in my body.

On Monday, April 23 I was feeling antsy in my two week wait to take a test, I was only ten days past my ovulation date so I really wasn't expecting anything, but thought what the hey. So I took one, and continued about my morning and went to look back at it later. And there it was a very faint BFP (big fat positive). So I thought of ways to tell Erik. Well, I decided I would go buy a gender neutral onsie and a digital test (thanks to a recommendation) and then some cinnamon rolls. I tested again Tuesday with an EPT test and got a negative. Wednesday, April 25th, I woke up early and tested using the digital test (I was 12DPO) and received a very positive "Pregnant" result. So I put the cinnamon rolls in the oven to cook and took a shower, got dressed, and pulled them out, iced them, and put the test in a small gift bag with the onsie. I put the rolls back in the oven and went to wake up Erik.

I told him there was something wrong with the oven and I was trying to cook, and he just had to look. He pulled his half asleep body out of bed, went into the kitchen and stood there and said "I don't hear a noise" and I lied and said, "I think there is a mouse in there, just open it and get it out".
So Erik opened the oven and stared at the cinnamon rolls and proceeded to stare at them for what felt like forever.
He finally looked at me and the conversation went like this:
Me: "There is a bun in the Oven!"
Erik: Stares back at the oven and has this extremely confused/half asleep look on his face.
Then finally looks back at me.
Me: (again!) "There is a bun in the Oven!"
Erik: Looks at me, oh so confused, and then back at the oven. Then it clicked, he looks back at me and says: "You're pregnant?"
Me: Yes!
Erik: How do you know?!
Me: Giggling, Gives him the gift bag
Erik: Pulls out the test and the onsie, and just stared at it. He finally came and gave me a hug and held and kissed me for what felt like forever.
I also want to add that about two hours after I had woken him at 7am from a dead sleep (Erik works nights right now and we're hoping it'll stay this way for a bit) that I found him in bed using my touchpad to look up family sedans. It was seriously the cutest, most touching thing, and really made me fall more in love with him. I hope our child really has his thoughtful, patient, caring personality.

It's so nice that Erik was home and that I was able to tell him about this in a creative, cute way. To see and think about the expression on his face and the emotions, just bring tears to my eyes. Just seeing pure happiness on his face, and excitement means the world to me. I'm so happy, and so excited! I'm so grateful that it happened so quickly and easily. I know there are so many women out there who struggle and my heart breaks for them.
I was able to call the Naval hospital later that day and we went in the next morning to have it confirmed. And it was. So we are really pregnant! It's almost surreal. Like it doesn't feel as if anything has changed, it's not noticeable and won't be for a while. It's also so, so very exciting. I do get a little anxious at every cramp I feel, and just pray that everything is okay and growing properly. I pray every day actually. Even though it's too early for our little peanut to hear me, I talk to him or her already. And tell him or her that I just want them to be healthy. That's all I want, is a healthy baby.

I just pray that I can do it all. I'm not so worried about the labor, caring, and teaching baby aspect. But the pregnancy aspect. Maybe because I've been exposed to friends who have miscarried, that I understand it's a real possibility, and that I could be in that 20-25% of women who miscarry. I also just want to provide the best for our little peanut. I want him or her to be completely healthy. I'm looking forward to the changes, and the symptoms. It'll make it feel more real. Right now there isn't much going on symptom wise, and while it's nice and I do appreciate it, it's a little hard to feel 'pregnant'.

We had our baby orientation today, on May 4th, and they showed us a DVD of a growing baby and we filled out our OB charts. We also filled out information for Fleet and Family services. There is a baby budgeting class we are going to attend that the Navy Marine Corps Society does. It was nice to get all the information today. I was a little nervous, because I don't know any one here personally who has given birth at the Naval hospital here in Jacksonville. But I feel a bit better now that I know what to expect at certain appointments. That's what I was in the nerves about the most I think. So, we go back in just about a month for our first real OB appointment. I'll be 10 weeks along then, so I'm hoping we'll be able to hear the baby's heart beat at the appointment. I think hearing that will really put away some of the anxiety's I have. But for now, I am just going to enjoy this, and the emotions, and think positively about the future.

But, that's whats going on here! I'm so excited and I can't wait to tell everyone, but I know it will be another eight weeks until then.