Thursday, June 21, 2012

So far..

June 19th, 2012
11 weeks 5 days

I find myself lately day dreaming about my babies. What it's going to be like to watch my belly grow, to feeling them move for the first time, to feeling the hiccups, to holding them for the first time.

In so many aspects I'm nervous, nervous about becoming a mom and a MoM (mom of multiples). I don't want to do anything wrong, I know deep down I can't do anything 'wrong' and there is no right or wrong way. I just want to do everything right for my babies. I want to give them everything they need and want, I want to teach them about everything, about life, about God, about math, not neccessarly the birds and the bee's - but hey! I've got plenty of time before I need to worry about that discussion. I want to be the fun mom, I want to take them to the park, take them on adventures, watch the clouds roll by, take them to the beach, take them horseback riding. I want them to help me bake cookies and only have a handful left by the time Erik gets home from work.

I'm rather nervous about how splitting up work and babies is going to work. I know once they get older, I can always work during nap times and once they are in bed. I can let Erik do some of the fun stuff and work during that time. As they grow older, I think it'll be easier, I'm rather nervous on how I am going to handle work once they are born. I'm trying to decide or come up with a plan A and a plan B on how it will work. I'd like to have some sort of plan in place with work when I tell my upper management on how I plan to handle work post delivery. Ideally we had planned on my not working for 4 weeks afterwards and then returning to work (I work at home, so being able to walk/drive/get dressed isn't a neccessity for me) but cutting my hours down from where they are at to 20 hours a week to get back into things and then figure it out from there. Part of me thinks I really need to talk to Erik this morning about the possibility of doing 6 weeks as a back up plan and then returning to work. I just don't want to get myself in too much stress nor not be able to give my body time to heal and get used to being a mom. It's a little overwhelming to think about at the moment. We've been taking extra steps to save more money - setting aside money for christmas and baby items as well as living off of what my paychecks will be once I cut back my hours. So I'm positive it will work out.

I think we're still adjusting our thoughts and expectations to having two babies versus one baby. It isn't that we aren't excited - we're thrilled. But when you decide its time to add a baby into your family, you don't think twins. I'm excited to make the adjustment though, and I think it's going to be an amazing adventure we get to experience!

My morning sickness lately has gotten to be hit or miss. It's about every other day I'm throwing up, which isn't too bad. It's definitely tolerable. There are some day's though that I've been thankful for Zofran. They aren't the throwing up days, but the days where I'm just nauseaous all day and all night long and run to the toliet every 10 minutes because I think I'm going to throw up or because I'm gagging - just to not throw up. Other than that, it's really the same thing still. Exhaustion - I'm always tired all the time. I can't ever get enough sleep. Oh and the bloat. Bleh I hate bloat. It makes me feel huge. I haven't gained much weight so far - but my weight still fluctuates - I've in reality gained 3-4 pounds (which is considered normal) and then on my bad days I've gained 5-6 (which is still slightly normal for twin pregnancies). I've tried to get back into working out and being active again, but I admit when the bed is always calling my name - it's hard. Yesterday I was able to get some yoga in and tomorrow I'm hoping to take puppy dog on a nice long walk and add some yoga into that as well. Maybe today I'll do some Jillian Micheals since I don't have much time. I really want to be healthy and active during my pregnancy.

Craving wise - nothing major really, sometimes I indulge in some macaroni and cheese, salt and vinegar chips, or in some reese cup/brownie/cookie cupcakes. But for the most part - I'm really trying to eat healthy. I went shopping last night and got a bunch of fruit and veggies to eat.

I have started to notice a slight bulge in my pelvic area where my uterus is starting to come above it. Erik noticed it when I was hugging him the other day - I didn't think it was that noticeable. So I guess here starts the belly taking pictures!! We also ordered a fetal doppler online yesterday, which should be arriving tomorrow. It's a device that allows us to listen to the babies heart beats at home. We're both excited to use it and to hear the heart beats for the first time - we've seen them on the ultrasound screen, but we haven't heard them yet. We also are planning on making our pregnancy known on Facebook so all of our friends and extended (not close) family will know if they haven't been told by us already. Just waiting to tell my bosses and then we'll put it out there.

Other than that, we're getting excited to see our babies via ultrasound Monday (the 25th!) and then again on Friday the 29th! Great way to start and end the week!

Here's to eating a bit more healthy this week and being a bit more active!

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