Thursday, May 5, 2011

Oh goodness!

Oh sweet baby Jesus.

I don't know where to begin, nor where to start anymore. I'm so utterly drained emotionally, I'm to the point where I'm not exactly sure where to begin anymore. Erik's back has gotten worse and the doctors haven't called to schedule an appointment at all, it's been phone call after phone call and no calls back. So he's in pain, and ladies we all know men are big babies when they're sick. So why was I expecting him to be able to handle the pain any differently? I really, really needed a break from the dog yesterday. I've been working longer hours and have been taking care of her since we got her. So I needed a break, and was looking forward to him getting home. Did that happen? No.

I don't mind taking care of Jade, she is adorable and is pretty stinking smart. We're getting along a lot better, and she's pretty much my shadow and whines terribly when I don't pay attention to her. But I feel as if, I don't know.. I feel as if I am making all the sacrifices. I arrange my schedule around her, I arrange estimates for things for the house estimates - like the tree removal and the fence. I decorate it and clean up. Constantly it feels like. I admit since all my attention has been geared towards the puppy it isn't as clean as I'd like it to be, and I haven't had a chance to fold the laundry up yet but I will have it done today.

I don't know. Maybe I feel as if I am the one making all the sacrifices because I moved down here and left it all ya know? I don't know if maybe there is some sort of resentment growing, or if it's just frustration. But regardless, I don't like this feeling. I'm sure it will go away eventually, and I know his back will feel better soon. Either way, that's how things are right now. Not exactly hunky doory. I'm trying so hard to have everything just right before the housewarming get together on Saturday night, which is really more or less Erik having friends over, since we all know I don't know anyone here. On top of that Erik's parents will be here in a couple weeks. So I just want everything to look really nice.

Anyways. Enough of my jumbled thoughts for the day. I need to get back to work and keep this puppy occupied. On a positive note, Jade did sleep in her own dog bed last night all night. Only whined for a few minutes and only had to put her back once. So that was a big accomplishment! She's been great with going outside when she needs to go potty. Just need to work on the communication with it. She whines all the time, so when she whines to go out - and there's only been two occasions - I sometimes think she is whining to whine. But I'm sure it will click with time. She's pretty smart. And they say with German Shepherds you only have to tell them no more than 3 times, so we should be good, fingers crossed.

Here's to hoping I can get everything cleaned up today, grocery shop (thanks to Chelsea for coming to watch the puppy while we go! thank god!) and get laundry done.

Happy Thirsty Thursday - I hope someone has a shot of tequila for me!

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