Thursday, March 31, 2011


Change is inevitable. We all know this, but somehow when your in a relationship your blind to it all. Ever since we got to Jacksonville, Erik isn't like he used to be with me. Granted, I know I am partially to blame for this. I did a lot of pushing away during our last few weeks in Virginia Beach. But when I need him the most here, it seems like he doesn't care. We got into an argument last night, because I'm frustrated. I hate being 'locked' in the apartment all day long. And he doesn't exactly get it. I try to explain that unless it pertains to him, then we don't leave the apartment. And that totally isn't his fault. That's every person's flaw, we all are guilty of it. I know I am. It's like I talk to him and he takes what he wants from our conversation, like he doesn't understand me or what I am saying. This morning, I thought was going to be a great day, just maybe. Well I woke up and burnt the crap out of my finger, a painful second degree burn. And I am at home, no car, so even if it was bigger there would be no way of getting to a doctor. Then Erik calls, and is telling me some news and asks whats wrong, I tell him I burn my finger and it hurts like hell. He asks how and laughs at me when he hears the answer. Yes, my boyfriend laughs at me. Whatever. I get pissed hang up on him, send him a text telling him he is mean.. and I get called the Drama Queen.

What I am getting at, is a year ago.. this never would of happened. People change. I need to learn to accept that rather than dwelling on the used to be. Relationships are work, most of it comes naturally but not all of it. Some things need to be worked at, accepting change is one of them. Realizing when there is stress or you are getting into a stressful situation such as house buying, it changes a persons attitude. I know I'm not perfect and maybe I am more emotional than ever before.. but that's something I need to work at.

Back to the rainy stormy day. Hopefully they don't get too bad.

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