Sunday, March 20, 2011


Wow.. I've never really felt so alone in my life. I mean crap, even when Erik was 10,000 miles away during deployment I knew there were other ladies going through it as well. But now - this alone feeling is become so overwhelming so fast. Ever since we got here, I've been the one working, putting things together, unpacking, organizing, everything. All while Erik sits there and plays freaking call of duty. I know, I should be happy that he is here this time, and that I spoiled him by doing it all last time. And I know, that I don't communicate the best. But really - I have unpacked the entire apartment, alone.
I've got no one here, aside from Erik of course. I don't have my Jeep, that had to stay in Virginia, so therefore I have to rely on Erik for everything. I don't have any friends, no sense of being or any sense of where I am at here. I just feel so alone and absolutely lost. And oh man, has the homesickness sunk in. Especially when Erik makes me upset, and I have no one to turn to but to send a friend whose 700 miles away a text message, and even then it doesn't help. I just feel so absolutely alone and out of place...

It didn't hit me until yesterday, just how sucky moving as a girlfriend can be. Just how much I've given up. I don't have residency, well anywhere really. I don't have a 'home', I now get to pay triple the cost of college because I don't qualify for instate tuition. I have to forfeit my Virginia's driver's licence over and get one in Florida, oh at the cost of $80 I might add. I don't get anything for this. Shit, when your a wife there are all of these 'acts' and 'laws' protecting you, you have the Spousal Residency Act, so you can keep your residency should you wish, oh and to get instate tuition all you have to do is fork over a copy of your husband's orders. Everything is so much simplified as a spouse, now I see why people tell you to wait to move.

Dear Navy... I hate you for this PCS move. I just want to go home...

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