So last night I came to the realization that I've been pretty thinking in a pretty naive fashion lately when it comes to the wedding, and my in-laws. Truthfully, I've been a little hurt by the fact that I'm the only one that is excited about our wedding, well aside from my mom. I get that it's dumb for me to think that others are going to be just as excited as I am. I guess I thought that maybe Erik's family would want more to do with it, or would be just as excited. But.. I wasn't exactly thinking in my normal fashion - clearly. I guess I thought that knowing I am going to be a permanent part of their family that I would some how become closer with them. But honestly, I can't expect that to be true. We live so far away, that it really just isn't something that is going to happen, unless we get stationed closer, and quite honestly it's the Navy - Kentucky isn't exactly near the ocean. I don't know, I really feel let down, like I built these expectations that I would 'gain' three sisters, and I will, but I don't think it will be the relationship that I am thinking it is going to be. And that isn't any one's fault. It's just an unfortunate truth. It's hard to create close relationships with others when you live 800+ miles away.
On another note I am really annoyed with anything wedding related, again. I know it's old. But I'm just to the point of not wanting to have one. What's the point in spending all that money, when in fact no one is going to come. What's the point in buying a pretty dress when maybe 20 people will see it. It's so flipping frustrating. And truth be told I am just over it. I'm tired of feeling like our wedding doesn't count, and that our wedding isn't going to be pretty or as in detail as others are. I'm just annoyed and frustrated and sick of it. Why have a wedding when the people who are there don't want to be there? Excuse my pitty party, I'm frustrated and woke up in a bad mood and can't exactly talk to Erik about any of this.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
I know it's hard to want to be accepted into yoru soon to be new family and to feel pushed out. Believe me i know haha. It took a good year of marriagefor his family to start to " welcome" me into the family and even longer for me to actually feel welcomed- and there are still times when I question if they think of me as family. We were together for about 4 years before we got married and now married for almost 3 1/2 years- i stressed so much about fitting in with his family that i can tell you it just isn't worth it. Focus your time and effort into being the best new wife you can be and when his family finally see's and understands how good you are to him and how much he needs his wife then i'm sure it won't be long till some more open arms! Sorry it's been so stressful for you :-(
ReplyDelete