Happy

For the first time in a long time I can really say I'm truly happy with who I am and who I'm becoming. I can say that I am happy with where I am in life. Sure there are things I would change or things I would alter, but overall I am happy. I'm not really sure what has caused this sudden change in heart to be honest. I really enjoyed Erik's sisters visit here. It was really nice to get to know her more, and just have family in town. We also got the fence installed so it's been really nice having our own privacy and we have definitely been enjoying the backyard more, so has puppy dog.

But back to the happiness note, I think I have finally accepted myself and who I am. I like the way I look, I didn't realize how much my body has changed for the better and how pretty I really am. As stupid as it sounds I didn't realize it until I saw a picture of myself that was taken during this past week. I definitely am enjoying where my life is heading, and how things are turning out. I do a bad job of trying to remember the good in my life and focus on the negative instead. Which is wrong. I have so much to be thankful for and so much to be happy about. It feels great to finally be happy with who I am. It's been a struggle for a long time, it's been hard to accept my past and move on from it, it's been hard to like how I look. But things are finally coming around. I can eat ice cream and not feel bad about it afterwards. I'm not saying it was an overnight process, or that it took a picture to make me love how I look, but it's a start, a good step in the right direction. That's all I need.

I'm just really happy that I've finally gotten past it, that I'm finally making steps in the right direction. I feel as if I finally got over this huge wall that has been placed in front of me. I've overcome it. I've finally been able to let go of the mistakes I made 4 years ago, and realized how much of a better person I am. I think mentally I was still guilt tripping myself for the mistakes I made, I was still allowing the hurt to play the mind game, I was still allowing the horrible comments to get me down. To finally work past all the pain and hurt feels amazing.

Don't get me wrong, I am happy with Erik, completely and utterly happy. He really makes me a better person, and is so patient and caring. We have our days, just like every other couple, where we argue over stupid things, but he still makes me happy. He is my better half, and I can truly say that without a doubt. I just needed to work on myself.

But long story short, I'm happy and I'm happy with my body, and with myself, and with my life. And that's all that is really important.