Forever!

Oh my lanta, has it been forever and a day since I have been able to blog!

So things here have obviously been super crazy, I was so caught up in house work, work, RCIA classes, and wedding planning that when I did have time to blog and started typing - I just never finished. I promise I will post/work on those unfinished projects soon - I need to for my own good.

I just wanted to hop on and write something short, and share some wonderful news. After almost 8 months of wedding planning, and all that hellious stress it entails. Erik and I were married in front of God and all of our wonderful friends and family, on Saturday March 3rd! We leave for our honeymoon at the end of the month and we are both just so excited for this new chapter together!!

I won't say the day went off without a hitch, because there were definitely hiccups, but it was perfect for us and it was worth every night and day I was stressed and overwhelemed. So now we are just enjoying each other and newlywed life!!

I promise to give a real update soon, and to share pictures when we have some!

Marry me..

So I realized today, that I am really getting married. It hasn't been long, since Erik proposed. And quite honestly, it didn't really click at the time of the proposal either. It might of hit me that next morning, but boy did it really hit me today. I've been pretty addicted to theknot.com to be honest. So during my daily fix, this morning I was looking into a vendor's website, when I walked away and came back to the computer it was playing a song (through the vendors website). As I sat and really listened to the song, which was 'Marry Me' by Train (who is one of my favorite bands). I've heard the song before but I never really listened to it. It made me really realize that I get to marry my best friend. It's an amazing feeling.

I never thought our relationship could get better, with just one question. But in reality, it has. We are closer than before, and more open than before. I think it's the fact knowing that we will be with each other for forever. It's the most amazing feeling, knowing that I have found the person I get to spend my life with everyday. I just can't get over how lucky and how head over heels in love I am. And that I know really get that feeling that every love song sings about.

Wedding planning is going good. Still a couple of uncertainties, like wedding colors, that haven't really been nailed out yet. We go and meet with a new priest next week since the military chapel is too disorganized. I am head over heels in love with this church, so hopefully it works. We also have some meetings coming up with vendors for reception venues, and then I need to find vendors for other things and schedule meetings with them. I'm really excited about going wedding dress shopping. I just hope I look good in the style of dress I want. On a brighter note, I have two wonderful ladies in my bridal party. I guess I just really got worked up over nothing.

I'm really looking forward to this weekend, it's our first weekend where we aren't around family, my brother came to town to visit for two weeks and I loved every minute of it! But it'll be nice for it to just be us. I think we might go look for wedding bands and maybe try some on. I'm sure I'll cry, happy tears of course.

I hope everyone has a great weekend!

The Proposal!!

So, late very late on July 3rd, early morning of July 4th something very, very special happened. After everyone had left, and Erik's parents were in bed. Erik and I were just relaxing on the couch. I was super exhausted and wanted nothing more than to crawl into bed and sleep, but Erik was very persistent on relaxing on the couch for a while, so we did. He ended up giving me a foot rub.
But.. it wasn't any ordinary foot rub. As I am trying my hardest to not drift off into wonderland, and as Erik is rubbing my feet, something happens to slip onto my toe. Yes, my toe. So I look down to see what it is and all I see is the biggest smile on Erik's face, and a very beautiful shiny ring on my toe. I, actually thought it wasn't real, and that I was dreaming. So I grab it and just stare at it, wide awake and sitting straight up. And the questions begin, "Erik,... what is this?" No answer.. "Erik, what is this!" No answer.. "Erik, what is this?!?" Finally an answer - "What do you think it is" And I just stared at him (yes, I was in shock!) "Erik, I'm not kidding, what is this!" and all he can say is "Will you" and my response "Will I what?" and then finally.. after about what felt like an hour, which was really like about two minutes, he asks me to marry him. In which I of course said "Yes!". Maybe 15 minutes later, Erik's dad walks into the living room and asks us whats going on. I am wayyyyyyyyy too excited to do anything but giggle. And which made him question what's going on more, and I giggled more and he just gave up and went to bed. His mom came out and hugged us and went to bed. It was nice, though, not having anyone know whats going on. Just having the whole world moving around us, and it just be us. I know, it sounds weird, but I love it. I love having no one, at this very moment know. I'm sure my Dad knows it is going to happen, but no one officially knows right now. And I love it.

Surprisingly, I didn't really cry. I think I was in too much shock to cry, too excited, too happy. I did shed a few tears. Apparently, Erik in the craziness of all his family being there, managed to call my daddy and ask for permission - which means the world to me. A little while later we went to bed and just cuddled, and then the tears came. And this morning the tears came when I realized I wasn't dreaming.

Honestly, I didn't see it coming. I knew something was up, I did. Erik has been acting funny for about two weeks now. Apologizing for everything and anything that I got upset over, being very lovey, acting in a way he hadn't acted in a while. So, I knew something was going on. You always kind of dream, well maybe he will. But I had told myself over and over that I had a better chance of being struck by lighting than Erik purposing. It wasn't the picture perfect movie scene, it wasn't the whole extravagant ordeal, but it was us. It was perfect for us and I love that.

So I just wanted to share the amazing news with everyone, that Erik and I are engaged!! I am so excited, and so very happy. Words can't even describe how I feel.

Edit: So I wrote this yesterday morning, before we had told anyone while I was waiting for Erik to wake up. I had already gotten up to take the dog out and had taken a shower, but I was not about to go out into the family room alone with this beautiful ring on my finger. So after he woke up, we went out and just relaxed until his dad came in and asked where his mom was. His Aunt and Uncle were getting ready to leave his grandparents house. I got all giggly again when Erik said, "Hey Mom, Anne has something to show you." Neither of us said a word and just showed her the ring, it took a second but she gave me the biggest hug and started to cry. -That meant the world to me, knowing that they were really happy for us. And we told her how it happened and his dad and everything. His mom sent the text to his sisters, and apparently on Sunday two of his sisters asked Erik when he was planning on proposing, they didn't have a clue it'd be super late that night, early morning of our third anniversary. I found that pretty funny. We walked over and told his grandparents and they seemed really happy as well.

So here are two pictures, the only ones I have right now. I'll try to get Erik to take a picture with me later on today :) I'm just too excited and happy for words right now.

Lucky

Two posts in one day?! Wow! Lol.

I'm feeling very lucky right now. I am so grateful to have the life I have, and have the friends and family that I have been blessed with. Moving to J-ville (yes my nickname for Jacksonville, good huh?!)  was the best decision I have ever made. When Erik asked me two years ago if I would move with him to his next duty station, my reply was, "I'll follow you anywhere." Without a doubt, and without thinking for a split second. And I meant it. Did I question it during the move? Yes. Did I wonder if I was doing the right thing, if I would be okay without friends and family near me? Yes. Am I glad I went anyway? You bet your ass.

I think so many military significant others get caught up (including myself) in the whole, "poor poor me" train of thinking. A lot of women, complain about being so far away from home, not having friends, not having family near by, not knowing where they are at, not having a life. You name it. We complain about it. Duty nights, watch billets, deployments, underways. You get the picture. I'm not saying I'm any better than anyone else, lord only knows how much I complain. I complained about probably everything I just named, excluding watches and duty days. We get caught up in the negative that we forget the positive. I mean I got the chance to pack up everything and move 700 miles away and start over, fresh. With the one person who loves me more than anything, the one person I want standing by my side for the rest of my life. I got to start over. Move away from all the hometown drama, all the horrible memories that I have there. Not many people get the opportunity and chance that I have.

Honestly, how many couples can say that they get that one moment to fall in love all over again? Not many.

How many civilians can say that they've had this moment?



 Nothing can compare to the pride and the joy and the absolute love that I have for this man. I am so beyond lucky that I have been blessed with someone who loves me. I am so lucky that I get the opportunity to live somewhere new, and meet new people from all over the country. I get to explore new area's and heck if I get pulled over, I can just throw out the "Sorry Officer, I'm not from here and I just don't know where I am going" . I think it becomes so easy to dwell on the negative, the drawbacks from this life. Not everything is grand and sugar coated. But that's life, no matter what. And no, being military affiliated doesn't mean that I am so much better than the next person. We are ALL everyday normal people. Just because of the job our loved one does does not mean we are better than the next person. Our men chose to enlist. No one made them, it's their job to get deployed. We chose to support them. That's all. Do we deserve a reward for it - no. We only chose to support them because we love them, heck if Erik worked at WalMart I'd still support him because that's what someone does for someone they love.

But back to the point of this post. I am truly lucky. I have an amazing man, who loves me with all of his heart. Someone who chose me, little me, to fall madly in love with and to take with him when he moved. He didn't have to by any means. I could still be sitting in Virginia Beach, but no I am sitting in sunny, beautiful Jacksonville Florida excited over the home he just bought us. I have an amazing job that I can take with me no matter where we get transferred to.

It's so easy to think about all the 'bad' things in your life. Stop. Think about all the amazing things you have to be thankful for, think about everything you have. I couldn't imagine 3 years ago, or heck even as a little girl that I would be as lucky as I am today. I have the one thing that no one can take away from me, the one person who loves me for everything I am and everything I'm not. I am so thankful to have Erik in my life. I am so thankful to be in Jacksonville. I am so thankful to have friends and family and people who care about my happiness.

Maybe this is more or less a mushy gushy post. But whatever. So be it. The point I am trying to get at is to be thankful for everything you have, for everything you don't and for all the experiences you will and have had. Instead of thinking about how horrible the military life is, think about everything it's given you.

News and thoughts!

We have a home!!!

And the kitchen is beautiful!!

So, I didn't want to really say anything, until Erik felt comfortable saying anything. House hunting as been up and down for us, just when we thought we'd find the one and put in an offer it wouldn't get accepted. Well our Realtor really did a great job and found us our home! It's a brand new house, meaning it's new construction. It's in a really great neighborhood that's called Oakleaf Plantation. And it's just really exciting! Knowing it's ours, and that not one single person has lived in it besides us is amazing. It's so exciting to know that this is our home, and we get to grow and love in it. It's just a really amazing feeling. We close on it April 29th and will for sure be moving in that weekend. We do still have a month left at the apartment, but what's the point in staying when we don't like it here, and have our own home to live in! We haven't really meet any of our neighbors yet, so hopefully we have nice neighbors! But that's the big news and I just wanted to share my excitement with everyone!

On another note, Erik and I have started (my idea) the 'Love Dare' it's a book from Fireproof, I've never seen the movie so I wouldn't really know much about it, I just heard about it through the grapevine. But I thought why not. We don't have relationship issues, which is why most people use the book, but I wanted to just explore our relationship and strengthen it - because there is always room to strengthen it. And so far we are on Day 7. It's pretty neat, although we are only a week into it. I can definitely tell that it's doing something. What, I'm not quite sure. 

This weekend was nice. Friday night Erik went and played poker with some guy's and I stayed over in the Orange Park area, mainly the main road since I was too worried to explore further, and did a little shopping. I got some great deals from Ross, ended up scoring an 8 piece dinner set for only $30. I love bargain shopping, I am the first one to admit it. I rather find a great buy on sale for cheap than spend the money outright on it and pay full price. Not this girl. We went to some consignment shops in the higher end area on Saturday just to see what we could find. We didn't get anything, but did find a bed for the second guest bedroom. We decided to wait on it, there isn't a point in buying anything now just for it to sit at the house, it can wait until we get moved in there. No need to rush on it. We went out to our home and took a bunch of pictures of it that afternoon. It was so nice and exciting to be able to share it with everyone. Then we went out to a barn to check it out, for boarding and what not. And just came home and relaxed. Sunday was nice, we ended up going to an auction with two of Erik's friends where Erik bought 2 more guns and then went to the beach for a little bit. It was too chilly (and yes, 70 is a little chilly for me to be at the beach it's been in the 80's for the past few weeks) and just came home and relaxed and hung out. Oh! Almost forgot, we watched the Social Network finally, the movie about Facebook! I'm a total facebook whore, it's addicting. Lol! But it definitely was neat to see how it was created, and the story behind it. It was almost sad that they attacked him. I mean really, you come up with a dating idea to get you laid and then someone gets the brilliant idea to turn it into something so much bigger. Don't be jealous. Just because someone is straightforward and blankly honest doesn't make him an asshole. It makes him honest. Some people just don't handle honesty that well.

But it's Monday, again. And this week probably will fly by pretty fast. We have a walk through on our home on Friday, where we go around and mark any little thing that is wrong with the house. Like the door paint is chipped here, or there is a mark there. Anything, and they will fix it before closing on the following Friday! I hope everyone has an awesome week, and try to make the best out of everyday your given!

-On a side note I wanted to add, if you do follow me and know me in real life please keep what you read to yourself. Don't walk up to myself or Erik and just start talking about what you 'read'. I use this as an outlet. To get things off of my chest and off of my mind. And it can be anything I am thinking that I write about. Keep it private please. Yes I get that it's on the Internet for the whole world to see. But that doesn't mean I want to talk about certain things with people. Like I said, this is just my out. So please be respectful of that.

Wow - What a year!

So - 2010 is officially over with. Where oh where did it go?! Time really did fly by this year.

2010 was a year that provided me with a lot of growth, a lot of love, some hard times, some lonely times, some opportunities. Overall it was great, I don't like (as much as it seems I do) resenting and regretting things. Especially something so sweet and important as time. The majority of the year, much like 2009, was spent away from my honey. We started off the year saying goodbye on January 2 and starting kicking our second deployment's butt. Looking back - deployments provided a lot for us, for our relationship, and no I'm not talking about financially. But it provided us a time, to strengthen our relationship, communication, and it allowed us to focus on things we wanted or needed to get done. I was able to focus on school and work mainly, I worked out a lot, I could focus on me, and us. And then on July 28 the most wonderful day of the year - homecoming. That one kiss I waited 207 days for.
2010 allowed me, for the most part, to finally get my thyroid handled and taken care of. Family wise - it was slightly harder than normal for me. It gets hard sometimes accepting the fact that to my mother, sometimes my brothers just do matter more. But that is something I've worked hard to just accept and move past. I've come to understand that friends are really hard to come by, and you can't trust everyone, you can't expect to be treated like you treat someone else by everyone, just only some people.
Overall, 2010 was a good year, I learned a lot about myself, a lot about people, a lot about my relationship.

My hopes for 2011 are high. I'm so excited about being able to spend our first spring together, ever. I'm excited about the many changes that are coming. Nervous and scared, but excited. I have high hopes for the new year. I'm hoping to have my degree this year, I am hoping to be healthier and more self confident. I am hoping to just enjoy life, enjoy love, and enjoy all the adventures that the new year brings.

I spent my New Years Eve with my amazing boyfriend, we were able to go out and enjoy the New Years together for the first time. We went out with a good friend of mine, Jen. I actually wore something out of my comfort zone and loved it. We definitely drank too much, but were safe and took my first cab ride home (I hate the idea of a taxi cab, but it wasn't too bad). Unfortunately after all the fun and yummy drinks we had - I did end up paying a pretty price for it - to the toilet of course. And spent much of the first day of the year lying in bed feeling absolutely hungover and gross. But with a yummy BLT from Sonic, and some sleep, and of course Tylenol, I feel much, much better. Here is a picture of last night - I do apologize apparently I was a happy drunk who enjoyed sticking her tongue out last night. :)

Me and Jen :)

Me and Erik <3

For everyone, or anyone, who does read this - I hope your new year is amazing, I hope you approach things with a positive attitude (trust me, it really does help) I wish you health and happiness.

Cheers to 2011!

Birthday thoughts.

So.. today is my birthday. I'm officially not a 'fun' age anymore.. just plain ole 22. Supposedly, its a 'lucky' birthday? I don't know if I necessarly believe in that or what. But I've been doing a lot of thinking lately.. a lot. There are a lot of things I don't like, and things I love. I've been thinking that since I'm 22 and I'm supposed to becoming more of a 'lady', there is one quality that I absolutely love in women who are older than I am.. and that is, they recognize their flaws, and either fix them or embrace them.

This has me thinking about my flaws and things that I don't like about myself, not necesarly beauty flaws either. So some of the things that I don't really care for about myself...

1. I second guess everything. I really really do. I'm not sure if its because I doubt myself, or my judgement, or if its people around me. But this is something I really need to stop doing. It only creates more self torture. This is definitely one of the top things I want to fix.
2. I don't have a high self confidence- which needs to be fixed. I've been torn to pieces my entire life, and unhealthy relationships both with the opposite sex and friends have caused this. It's not an excuse- just consequences of past events. After being told over and over again that you aren't beautiful, or your too fat, or this or that it starts to get to you. So I need to remember that, I am beautiful 
3. I pick my self apart in the mirror- you know that whole, oh I'm getting a little pudge, or I could probably work this off- which contributes to number 2. That has got to stop. Yes I go to the gym, because I love the effect of working out and the feeling after a good sweat. But I should not be standing in the mirror doing that. Instead I will address one thing I like instead. For instance- I may not like the size of my arms, but I like that they are muscular, not flabby.
4. I let things bother me, that shouldn't. Which needs to stop. I need to focus on things, yes, but I do not need to overly stress about them. That just causes a whole mess of emotions which isn't good.
5. I need to remember that each day is a gift, not a right. I need to remember to live, to love beyond words, and to enjoy the day. Not stress over what tomorrow may bring.

But my biggest one- Is comparing myself to others. You know that girl in the store you see, who is like perfect, but looks nothing like you. Yet you still find yourself comparing your imperfections to her. And then you just feel worse about yourself? Okay- well maybe you don't but I do. I constantly compare myself to everyone else. I am going to try really really hard to stop this, and remember something my parents used to tell me, Everyone else isn't Anne. Which is so true. I'm the only ME. Who can I compare that to - no one!

My list can go on and on, but I figure it is a start. I want to be happy again, not that I'm not, and happiness isn't a goal, its a mood. I want to be able to love myself. I want to just be able to live, and let loose and enjoy life, enjoy the day, and enjoy the ones I love.

So here is to turning 22, and to recognizing that not everyone is perfect, and neither is life, you fall down, you get scraps and bruises and have a scar to tell a story. Here is to loving yourself, and loving life.