Military Wife Rant

So I'm probably going to get some shit (excuse my french) for saying this, especially from those involved in the military community, but you know what I really don't care. Here it goes...
I'm rather tired of reading facebook status' saying; "Civilian girls have no clue what it's like to miss their husband, try walking a mile in a military wife's shoes" or "What is 3 weeks compared to 6 months" or "Don't complain about missing him until he's deployed for x amount of time" or the whole poor, poor military, "We moved and these passes won't transfer from park to park". But here is what I have to say about all of it.

First and foremost, when you love someone and they aren't there with you, whether it's a few days for a business trip or a few weeks for an underway, or a few months for a deployment. You miss them. It doesn't matter if they are at work for 12 hours a day, they aren't with you, and you miss them. It's just a fact of life. Everyone misses their loved one, and every one is entitled to miss their loved one. Civilian or military. Your husband signed up to deploy. End of freakin' story. My future husband signed up to deploy. Does that make us miss them any less, no it doesn't. Does it make us miss them so much it hurts? Yes. But here is the kicker. We knew this would happen, we expected it, we go through it because we love them. Now by no means am I saying that no one has the right to miss them, I'm not saying that at all. What I am saying is, don't be mad when you hear your friend saying that they miss their own husband when he has to go on a business trip for a week. Don't. She loves her husband as much as you love yours. So you can't be mad at her for missing him. Does she miss him for as long as you are going to miss your husband, no. But that's just life. Life isn't equally fair, but that's what is beautiful about it. I'm so sick and tired of people telling people that they aren't justified to miss their loved ones. Everyone is justified to their own feelings, opinions, thoughts, and emotions. When you tell someone they can't miss someone or they don't have a right to feel the way they feel, you turn into a bully.

Secondly, I read an article about a military wife, emailing Six Flag's because she was upset her parking pass that she paid for wouldn't transfer to another Six Flag's park when they PCS (move to another duty station). Okay firstly, let me just state this. Most of the time, I'll say 9 times out of 10 you have a pretty good idea of when you are going to move, and you know where you're going to move at least 3-9 months before you do. So common sense pretty much prevails with this one, who the hell purchases a parking pass for a whole year at a park that they know they won't be coming back to over and over again for the whole year. On top of that. Companies have policies in place for a reason. It's not to belittle military families, nor to punish them. But it's to create a fair and equal environment. To stop discrimination from occurring. To prevent people from being charged different rates, to allow everyone to participate. So just because a company won't allow you to use a parking pass you purchased in let's say Chicago, in San Diego it's because there is a policy against it. They're might be a universal parking pass you can purchase to use at ALL parks, but if it's purchased in Chicago to use at Chicago, then of course you can't use it in San Diego. They're are policies in place that prevents this, more than likely to save you money. If they made everyone buy a parking pass to use at every park than I can assure you it would cost a ton of money, so why not just have a parking pass to use at one park. There are policies there to benefit you, the customer, and to prevent discrimination on the companies behalf as well as to protect the company. That's all, it's not because your a military family, it's not because they want to screw you over, it's for the benefit of everyone. Simple as that.

It gets so frustrating when I see and hear people pulling the "woe is me, poor poor us suffering because we are military family" when it really isn't the case at all. Everyone has it hard, everyone has their struggles. Some have more struggles than others, some struggle differently than others, and some complain about those struggles more than others do. It just chaps my ass sometimes when there are families who have to have the breadwinner working 4 hours away to make money for their family, and then there is a military wife saying "Well at least it's only 4 hours away, mine is 6,000 miles away!". In fact it pisses me off. Maybe it's because I can see it now, where I'm not dealing with a deployment, but have the knowledge of two under my belt. But it's wrong. It's so very wrong. That's being a bully, telling one wife she can't miss her husband just because he isn't being shot at, or isn't floating on a ship working 17 hour shifts. Like I said, our husbands (fiance's or boyfriends) choose this life, they enlisted, no one made them. Does it suck at times, hell yes. Are there rewards? You bet.

But in the end, it is wrong to tell another woman she is not entitled to miss her husband because they aren't in the same situation that military wives are in. Military wives claim that we are held to a higher level than others, that we are supposed to be role models, that we are supposed to support and help one another out. But in reality, that couldn't be further from the truth! In reality, most (not all) military wives sit on Facebook, telling other people how to act, what to do, and bullying others around. Instead of supporting one another, they are too busy playing the rank game, creating drama, and calling each other names. It's pathetic, and couldn't feel more like high school. I've never understood why women feel the need to belittle others, and create drama when there are more important things to be concerned about and frankly I never will. Nothing is all sunshine and daisies like the show Army Wives portrays. In fact, it couldn't be further from the truth. In reality, it's more like a 'Real Housewives' show on Bravo.

Women need to grow up, and mature. Realize what is important, and what is not. They also need to stop being bully's. Stop with the freaking facebook, stop with the 'woe is me', stop telling others they aren't entitled to feel the way they feel. Stop putting yourself on a pedestal and realize, your just like everyone else. Civilians don't care about rank, instead they base their friends on morals, on who is going to be there when they are having a bad day, who can step in when an emergency occurs. Maybe military wives can take a note from their book, realize there is more to life than the military, than pulling the rank card, pulling the branch card, pulling whatever card is going to 'one up' another person.

That's the end of my rant for the day. Happy Monday.

What makes you so much better than me?

Yes, I know I have been a horrible blogger lately. And for that I apologize if anyone is keeping up with my craziness.

I am rather pissed off right now. Why? Well because people always assume that they are better than the next person, that their poop doesn't stink, that they live their life out in roses. Specifically right now, I am more or so directing this towards the military wives who think that because they have a marriage license that they are better than other girlfriends/fiance's. Well truth be told - they aren't. Its people like this who go around with this "I am better than you attitude" and the "wives are forever, girlfriends aren't" way of life that will truly be lonely.

Since when, does a marriage license, a wedding band, and a last name change who you as a person are. It shouldn't. You are no better than the next Jane Doe. Marriage isn't about benefits, and more money, it isn't about status and rank. It's about love, and living your life with the person you can't live it without. It's about remaining who you are and having someone love you for your flaws and all - believe me everyone has them.

It really pisses me off, when someone tells me that my relationship doesn't count, or it doesn't matter because we aren't legally bound to one another. Your right, I could walk away at any freaking minute, but I don't. Not because I can't, but because I don't want to, because I love the person that I am with more than life itself. How many people can say that?! I feel bad for people, I feel bad that they won't ever know a love like I know it, they won't know what its like to wait for months at a time for a single kiss, they won't know what it's like to say goodbye and know not because we are married, but because we love one another that we will wait for each other. I truly feel bad for them. I feel bad that they have to put me down, to have confidence in their marriage. Pretty sad and pathetic.

I am seriously over this military wife lifestyle, I won't be like that, I freaking refuse, I'd rather have someone shoot me than act like that. In a lifestyle where deployments are common, and moving is often - you would figure women would be more friendly, especially knowing she might be the new girl in 3 or so years. But that really isn't the case. Or maybe it is just the dumb girls here, or the dumb girls who like to parade their husbands rank on support groups. I am over it - I as a girlfriend have dealt with more than many married women have. I won't justify it with a ring, or a last name.

Screw that! I am so over people it is ridiculous. I won't tolerate people like that in my life anymore. No way, no how. Life is about living, about loving, about treating others how you want to be treated.

On a happy note - I started doing Hot Yoga again and am feeling a lot better. It really is helping with the cabin fever. My gyn appointment is fastly approaching and I am really going into it with a positive attitude, and am hoping that its something that is simple. I am making an appointment to get my migraines under better control. I also found out some great information about my health insurance. So things are getting better. Oh and we start packing soon! Turning in our orders to this horrible apartment complex tomorrow!

I will try really hard to get better about blogging and try to post happier things - but I will always come here to air it out. Also, I will try really hard to catch up on this photo challenge.

Thanks for letting me rant!

Rant!!! Errrr!

Okay - I know I'm behind on the Photo Challenge - I'll make up for it.

I am so overly freaking stressed out and pissed off and frustrated it is insane. I have got to find a freaking health insurance company by November (plenty of time, right?!) but here's the thing. I have to see a Endocrinologist (however the hell you spell it) due to my thyroid disease and now I have to see a special GYN to figure out what the hell is wrong down there. So yeah, I'm freaked the hell out. It's expensive as shit too, have I mentioned that - damn near $200 a month - WITHOUT - co pays. So I'm pretty upset. Our freaking government can hand out all the money it wants to to the shit bag drug dealers, the hookers, and god knows what other bad people and help take care of them. But when it comes to me, a hard working, young person - oh no NEVER! Why?! Because I don't have a child, I'm waiting.. (not that I probably will ever have a child - who the heck knows) till the one day I get married and have a financially stable life. So kill me for not being 24, I make a freaking thousand dollars a month and how the hell am I supposed to live off of that?! Rent with Erik is $490, and then I have my freaking car payment which is $340 and leaving me with a whopping $170 at the end of the month - how the hell is a person supposed to live off of that?!

So I am freaking stressed to the max over that, and then figuring out classes on top of it. And also about the fact that Erik still hasn't freaking popped the question. I know, I know he will when he isn't pressured/stressed, when he has gotten all of his wild oats sewed, his goals accomplished yada freaking yada. It doesn't matter that I have spent 2.5 years of my life with him, that I love him with all my heart all the time, that I didn't play the kick ass girlfriend role, that I don't give him my all. Nope I don't get a ring - and he still expects me to freaking move 600 miles away and give up everything for him! Not that I don't love him or not that I don't want to be with him. But seriously - come on! How freaking hard is it to commit?!

Yes I know, a freaking marriage certificate won't change anything, nor a shiny sparkly ring. But it'd really help my stress levels. Do you know how freaking scary it is to give up everything for a man?! Do you realize how freaking dumb I look to everyone?

I am so tired of it all, so tired of being stressed over money, over life, over family, over everything. So tired. I try so hard to be positive, so hard to make everyone else happy and I get no where.... I'm just tired.

Why can't things be easy for me?! Why do I have to have a thyroid disease, why do I have to deal with the stress of  the possibility of having a fertility issue? Why can't I be the girl with the sparkly ring and promise? Or the girl with true friends instead of those fake girls who say they'll be there and never are?

Okay --- rants over for now, I think. I needed to get that off my chest before I exploded.

Hope everyone else is doing well.